Boop Bap

So, I decided today that I am not a stay-at-home-mom.  I am, in fact, running a circus.  I'll explain.

The boys and I have not had the best of weeks.  There has been a whole lot of naughty from the boys, and whole lot of grumpy from me.  We took a "home day" on Monday where we stayed in our jammies all day and attempted to clean the house.  Very little of the house got clean between all of the fighting, crying and whining that happened all day.  The reason for all of this nonsense, I think, is that it is the end of February.  It's cold outside (it was 5 degrees yesterday), so no one wants to be outside.  The snow is old, and no one wants to play in it.  We have cabin fever, and so we are naughty and grumpy...and miserable.

Examples of naughtiness/general reasons for mom to be grumpy:
1.  My visiting teachers came for a visit, and Gunner went wild with excitement!  Wild!  I tried to get him to calm down, and he repeated refused to obey for a full hour and fifteen minutes.  He caused quite the scene, and he is now grounded from all beloved things (Ipad time, movies, dessert/candy/gum) for a week.

2.  Hobbes has become very opinionated about his clothing.  He changed his clothes at least five times a day.  His preferred clothing is pajamas, specifically a pair of green Summer jammies (short sleeve, short pants) with a Monkey rowing a boat that is shaped like a banana.  When he finds these pajamas (in his drawer, in my bedroom, in the dryer, anywhere at all), he insists on putting them on.  He refuses to wear a coat or long pants if he is wearing these jams and we are going outside (see comment about it being 5 degrees).  He refuses to wear socks unless he chooses them.  We have had hour long fights trying to get this kid dressed.  In fact, we fight about it almost every time we get him dressed these days, and extra awesome when he hides in a corner afterwards and takes everything off again.  It's exhausting.

So, after our miserable home day on Monday, I had a full day out of the house planned for Tuesday.  We got ourselves dressed for the day (this included four changes of clothing for Hobbes.  Four!!!  By 9:30 a.m.), and got out to the van, only to discover that the kids' car seats were in Spiff's car.  Spiff would be at work until 7 p.m.  Our day, and our hopes for fun and general happiness, were shot.  I felt so defeated as I realized that I would be alone with the kids again, all day. 

That's when the messages went out to my friend.  We're stuck at home.  Please come over!  Thankfully they did.

And then there was today.  It started off with a fight to get Hobbes to wear clothes.  He compromised by carrying his pajamas around like a blankie to cuddle in the car on the way to the doctor for a well-child check for Hobbsie.  It is the first time we have been to this doctor's office, so it took a long time.  Like two hours.  Ugh.  Papers to fill out, questions to answer, kids to entertain, more papers to fill out, more questions to re-answer, hand-outs to juggle, bored kids to calm down.  Two hours!  It's way worse than making it through sacrament meeting.

And then there was Hobbes who was instructed to be in just a diaper for his exam.  This kid who is so particular about his clothing is supposed to be naked for two hours.  I juggled all of the above while he tried every sneaky tactic to put his clothes back on.  But then by the time it was actually time to get his clothes on before the shots, he was too tired and hungry to cooperate, so we got to have another little fight.  Awesome.  Then the shots are always a joy.  Poor little guy.

When we were finally done at the doctor's office, I rewarded the kids for their patience with a trip to the library.  While we were there, Hobbes messed his diaper.  Upon changing it, I discovered a massive blowout.  Sigh.  Anyone who has changed a 2-year-old blowout on a public bathroom changing table can sympathize with me about the horrors of juggling flailing hands, kicking legs, travel wipes, and messy clothing.  Oh, so hard.  Oh, and then it is 8 degrees outside, so we're all wearing coats and boots.  But it's not cold inside, and it gets especially warm while I'm wrestling my kid while wearing my coat.  So hot!  So hot and so so so hard!

And here is little Hobbes, who hates getting dressed on a good day, being forced out of his clothes for the third time of the day, and wondering what has happened to his pants!  The best I could do was put his pooped-on onesie and pants in a plastic bag, put his shirt and coat on him, and get us on our way.

So there we are, making our little way out of the library, by way of the book check-out (imagine me juggling the boys who are wandering every direction while I desperately try to check out books with super-speed), with my little son in nothing but a coat, diaper, bare legs and boots.  Oh, the looks we got!

Good thing I had Hobbsie there to clarify things for people.  He explained to every passer-by why he didn't have any pants.  "Boop, Bap!" (I pooped in my pants!)

And that, my friends, is why I have decided to open a circus.  I'll call it Spiff & Minty's Circus Extravaganza!  It's happening anyway.  We're putting on an amazing show for people.  I may as well charge admission.  I'll make a fortune.  If you come, you can be Wowed by my juggling skillz.