Endurance

I am 39 1/2 weeks pregnant. I went to the doctor yesterday, and all the news was good. I am 100% healthy, and so is the baby. My blood pressure was fine, the urine test was normal, the baby's heart rate is fine. I'm just a tiny bit dilated, and even just a tiny bit more than last week. I should be so relieved that everything is okay. But instead, the hormones of the irrational pregnant woman set in, and I broke down crying to the doctor in the middle of the examination room. I also continued to cry off and on for another two hours after leaving the doctor's office.

In a high school English class, we studied a story of a war-time message runner. He was assigned to take a message to the next unit over as quickly as he could. He took off running...and kept on running because he had no idea how far away the next unit was located, or how long it was going to take to get there. I ran my first half marathon this past spring, and it really wasn't all that bad. I trained for it, paced myself, and I really enjoyed it. Mile twelve wasn't even that bad because I knew that the finish line was only a mile away.

I feel a bit like the message runner right now. I have a general idea how long this pregnancy will last, and I know that I won't be "running" forever. But there is no finish line in sight. I am having a difficult time enduring the unknown distance. So I cry when the doctor tells me that everything is fine.