I have come to the conclusion that Crying It Out is another name for sheer emotional torture. Our sweet little baby has been having a rough time sleeping lately. He went from a tiny newborn who wouldn't sleep because he needed to eat every two hours to a heavenly 3-4 month old who slept through the night, mostly. However, he has recently decided that the only place he wants to sleep is in his mommy's arms. I do what I used to do for him. I feed him, cuddle him, and rock him until he is blissfully in dreamland. He is happy, and I am happy to cuddle with my little sweetie. I take him to his bedroom, and as gently as humanly possible, I lay him down in his crib, which has become an action that screams "Unacceptable" to him. He immediately wakes up, kicking and happy, and ready to play. As he has already shown me he is ready for bed by falling asleep in my arms, I know it's time for bed. I kiss him goodnight, and leave him...to cry...for 30 minutes (which is up from the five we started with). And then I die a little more inside, as it has been going on for several weeks.
We have decided that there is nothing more we can do for him. If I could make it better by going in to him, by giving him back his binkie, by cuddling him, by singing to him, by rocking him, I would. But nothing I do helps, so we feel like it's time that he learns how to comfort himself to sleep. It is the most horrible thing to hear him scream and I spend the designated time on edge, frustrated, and with the highest of blood pressure. We're doing something for him by not doing anything at all, and it's one of the hardest thing I've done. Meanwhile, none of us in our little family are getting much sleep, which also makes things difficult to cope with.
7 comments:
Oh, I remember those times and how hard it was. It will get better and soon he will learn how to fall asleep on his own and bedtime will be a piece of cake. Just remember that the more you go to him the more he will expect it. It also helps to know his crys and what they mean. If he really needs something then it's important for mama to be there. Good Luck!!!
That is tough business. I had similar experiences with both my kids. Its sure not easy! I pray you guys get some sleep over there soon!
I agree that this is one of the hardest things to do. But I also say it is one of the best things. With both our kids, it was pure torture for a few nights, but before long, it was down to 5 minutes or less of crying, and they have always slept great since. My problem is I know I will soon be back at the beginning of the cycle. Stick with it - it will be worth it. (I did seek refuge on the front porch a few times.)
It will get better, just don't cave into his demands. Tyrannical little things aren't they? Our guy went through it and now falls asleep instantly. Good luck!
We had lots of those time. I totally don't buy into the cry it out philosophy. I would let him cry for a bit, (10-20 minutes), but if he cried for longer, I always went into him. It took 11 months for Ely to sleep through the night. He then started sleeping 12 hours in a shot and has kept it up ever since. Babies are moving through developmental cycles and their relationship with you changes at each step. Sometimes they need you more than others. Listen to your instincts. They're better at letting you know what your baby needs than anything else.
I figure you have 2 choices: it can either be hell on you (rocking him, cuddling him, getting up), or it can be hell on both of you (letting him cry it out). (I oversimplify, of course).
Good luck. This is the most difficult part of parenting, and I'm glad we're past it (for now...).
I thought of something else. Babies thrive on routines, right? So here is what has helped us. We have a special blanket that he uses for sleeping. Your guy is old enough now for a lovey or something that he can associate with sleep. For Josh, it's a rolled up receiving blanket because he likes to clutch something to him. We also have a sound track of soothing music that we play every single time he goes to sleep. With these things, he knows when we expect him to go to sleep. Good luck!
I support your letting him cry it out, and I know that it's hard. Last year when I was in genetics, our faculty facilitator was a neonatal pediatrician, and he said that's what he recommends.
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