Why write?

When the muse whispers, you must write. This is the thought I had as I was brushing my teeth a moment ago. Why must I write? The act of writing at once places the writer into history. I rekindled my love for history and literature again tonight. Mindy and I had just finished the final episode of The Office. Television is not a literary art form, by definition. It is an explicit medium simply because every image is shown explicitly and each viewer sees exactly the same thing. What they feel may vary, but everyone has seen the same thing. The beauty of literature, however, is that everyone imagines Tolkein's Middle Earth to be someplace else. My Narnia looks different than your Narnia, and Ramona and Beezus don't look the same to you as they do to me. I love the infinite variety of writing. Admittedly, I also like the quick fix entertainment afforded by television's omni-directional sludge pump - to steal a phrase from the Simpson's Side Show Bob.

While brushing my teeth I was thinking about some of the Balzac novels I read as a french major, and the 19th century France they portrayed. Balzac did not follow the conventions of contemporary story telling, where the audience is lead down a path by brute force and coerced into feeling prescribed emotions. The essential element of American popular narratives was also missing- the happy ending. Balzac described a time period in his character's lives, simply as a kind of decade long snapshot, without necessarily resolving everything, just simply to illustrate humanity. This blog serves, in its crude way, as a Balzacien glimpse into our world. I retitled it "Another Day in the Crucible" a few months ago in order to emphasize that this rather intense experience is a profoundly changing one.

I never realized, for instance, how long and hard I really could work and remain sane. I know how to study better than I ever have. I have learned, forgotten, relearned, and half-remembered an impressive collection of knowledge. I am more assertive in seeking knowledge. I learn now not just for exams, but for future utility. Personally, I am now coming to terms with becoming a father to a little boy in October. The thought is flooring, exciting, terrifying, all at once. I think I write to remain sane and to mimic real writers, so that one day I can pass this public journal on to my kids and say "look what Daddy learned and did in school".
-Spaceman Spiff