Saturday, October 02, 2010

Grab Bag

Here's the stuff that's been on my mind recently:

Things I learn from patients:

If you have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, don't leave the outside hospital against medical advice. You will come to my hospital obtunded with minimal brainstem activity.

Don't inject "shake and bake" homemade meth synthetic product into your arm, it will give you cellulitis.

A dead liver cannot be fixed by changing ventilator settings.

Things I learn in General Conference

The word "even" can be used as punctuation, in lieu of a comma. Consider the following example:
"We are thankful for the prophet, even Thomas S. Monson, who leads us...."

Alternatively: "We are thankful for the prophet, Thomas S. Monson, who leads us.." This is another instance of why we need Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation.

"Indeed" is three words. "Indeed" becomes "in very deed". Indeed is not the same as "in deed". Indeed is an adverb, expressing incredulity, or to reinforce the credulity of a statement previously asserted. Etymologically, I believe this tendency to embellish words stems from the King James version of the Bible, as seen in very deed in Exodus 9:16, 1 Sam 25:34 and other places. From a literary perspective I think it's fine, but in oral speech it is somewhat stilted and contrived.


Mhana said...

Also, all talks should end with a long-winded statement followed by "is my humble prayer." As in: That we should live worthy of the spirit, pray diligently, love our families, live the law of chastity, heed the prophet and study the scriptures that we may be filled with the joy of the Restored Gospel is my humble prayer.

Also squealing is pronounced "squilling"

cfg said...

What else causes cellulitis? My friend had hip replacement surgery and now her leg is swollen with cellulitis. We joked about what a waste the new hip was if her leg has to be amputated.

Ahenobarbus Textor said...

Archaisms in G.Conferences rock! I think you're right about the influence of the JKV Bible. It's not a new phenomenon. When I read 12th & 13th century papal bulls, & such, their text is saturated with vocab/imagery/constructions straight from Jerome's Vulgate. I guess we all tend to write as a reflection of what we read most. Still, it's high time to make the NRSV of the Bible our new standard work.

cfg said...

to Ahenobarbus. you are the first person I have ever heard suggest we no longer use KJV. I read the NRSV surreptitiously lest anyone think I am apostate, but I greatly prefer it. Do the French and Germans use archaic translations? No , they do not.
I heard more indeed, in deed, in the Sunday afternoon session. Maybe it should become part of conference bingo.