On Being Pregnant

I realize that I haven't said a whole lot about my pregnancies.  I am pretty private about the whole thing.  I have a tendency to hide it as long as possible.  Here I am, almost 35 weeks into my third and last pregnancy, and I haven't said anything about it on this here blog.  I didn't really announce it on Facebook (like I apparently should have), and I have had a few friends pm me asking, "Um...are you pregnant?!?!", which I'm sure must be awkward for them.  Anyway, I thought I'd write a few things about me and being pregnant, just for memory sake.  (This is super long-winded.  I'm not at all offended if no one reads this.)

First of all, I have found this phenomenon throughout this pregnancy that I think is strange.  When people find out you're pregnant, you kind of cease to be a person and become something fragile and breakable in the eyes of others.  Instead of asking how I'm doing, or what we have been up to lately, people look at me with sympathy in their eyes, tilt their heads and ask, "How are you Feeeeeeling?'

That is always a hard questions for me to answer.  For pregnant women, I think I have it pretty easy.  I don't spend months on end throwing up in the toilet.  I'm not nauseous the entire nine months.  But I never feel well.  My early months consist of nausea and horrible stomach issues/pain.  The rest of the pregnancy is spent with crippling fatigue.  I never feel great about gaining all the weight and not being able to exercise.  If I'm pregnant in warm weather, I swell and swell.  Currently, my feet are so swollen that the tops of them jiggle when I walk.  It is so unpleasant.  But, at least I'm not in the hospital getting fluids because I'm not puking.

So "How am I feeeeeeling?"  I'm fine.  Thanks for asking!

It does make me wonder how I talk to my pregnant friends.  I'm sure I do the same thing, but maybe I wish I wouldn't.

Second, I find it interesting that with each of my babies, I have had different things that seem sort of unbearable.  With Gunner, I was so very swollen.  With Hobbes, I had braxton hicks contractions from 20 weeks on, and I had horrible round ligament pain.  This time, my belly hurt earlier on so that I had to stop running, but I haven't had BH contractions, and I didn't swell until just a few days ago.  However, as the baby has gotten larger, her kicks are so painful!  I don't know if it is that I am older, or more stretched out or what, but it seriously hurts when she moves around in there.

So, pregnancy for me is sort of horrible, but I think it's this way for most women.  Although I did talk to a friend recently who had just had her second baby.  I told her how great I thought she looked, and she looked at me and said, "Oh, you are making me wish I were still pregnant!  I miss it already!"  I'm fairly certain that I looked right back at her like she was crazy.  Only crazy people actually Like being pregnant!  Either that, or she is part of a very special group who doesn't mind it, and who is able to find joy in the experience.

Third, I have a hard time not being able to keep up with people.  I don't realize how slow I am until I my boys are playing, and I can't run after them.  Or when Spiff and I went to the temple recently.  We were running late, and Spiff offered to drop me off at the door while he parked the car.  It sounds like a thoughtful gesture, but he then said, "This way you can go on in without your pregnancy slowing us down."  Sigh.

Lastly, we are spending the the last two months of the pregnancy in Florida for Spiff's away rotation (pediatric anesthesia).  We are having a good time, but my due date is looming.  I have made plans to drive back home with the boys early (And so so so grateful for Spiff's mom who is flying out to help me as we do that.  Bless you, CFG!!!) so I can be hopefully be home before I have the baby.  The plan is to be home about two weeks before my due date of June 4.  Spiff is flying home a week later after he finishes work.  While he is gone, I will have his mom there to take care of my kids, and I have lined up a friend to be a back-up labor coach if I go into labor, but of course I am hoping that Spiff makes it home before we have the baby.  I keep hearing stories of friends who had their babies two or three weeks early, and I have to try really hard not to stress about a situation that I cannot control.

But with all of this, I have to say that I am very grateful.  All three of these pregnancies have been perfectly healthy, normal and without issues.  They are the perfect examples of standard healthy pregnancies.  My babies have been healthy and completely full-term (born at 40 weeks), and I'm hoping for the best with this little one, too.  Her kicks hurt me, but at least I know she's kicking.

In a few short weeks, we'll have our little girl.  We'll have another newborn in the house, add another sibling into the mix of kids, and experience having a GIRL, which are all entirely other issues that I'm terrified about.

Wish us luck!  We will need it over the next few weeks.