What's On My Mind

We're back from a much-needed and great vacation to Michigan. We saw some family and spent time with some wonderful friends. We left the cabin with mixed feelings, being ready to be off of vacation, but not ready to leave our friends who live far from us. We were not quite ready to start life again, and were wishing for a few more days to decompress at home before Spiff started into 4th year.

But, we got home, and he started right up. Starting 4th year is sort of a strange thing. For the first time, he isn't starting up the same big thing as the rest of his class. Everyone picks their own schedules for 4th year, and so everyone has something different to start off the year. Some of his classmates are studying for and taking Step 2. Some are doing research electives. Some are out of town. Some are doing dissection with a very flexible schedule. And some, like Spiff, started off the year with a bang by doing an intense sub-internship. He is in the MICU (adult intensive care unit), and he is on a Q4 overnight call schedule for three weeks. The means that he has to spend the night at the hospital every fourth night for three weeks. It's pretty intense, he has to do a whole ton of rounding (like 8-12 hour each day!), and he's tired. I know there are residencies that do this kind of schedule for several years in a row, so I can't complain, but it's still a tough thing to start up with.

And then in just two weeks, Spiff heads up to Rochester, MN for a 4-week anesthesia away rotation. Gunner and I will be leaving to visit my family for those four weeks, and while Spiff is enjoying a nice, month-long interview process, I will be enjoying my family. We will be camping and visiting Yellowstone (which I haven't seen for 11 years). I will also be running this event with my sister. I'm not in very good shape, so I'm a bit nervous to tackle the distance and altitude. But as long as the team doesn't care that I'm super slow, I'm just excited to do such a cool event with one of my favorite running partners ever!

Also, we're enjoying Spiff's sister, Mhana's, adventures while she researches doctoral paper material in France for the Summer. Check out her blog here. She writes good, that one.

I also recently found out that one of my good friends from college has breast cancer. It has spread to her bones and is incurable, although the doctors say it is treatable. She is only 33, has a wonderful husband who loves her, and has three little kids. I can't stop thinking about her and how unfair the situation is. I keep praying that her treatment will give her years with her children, but it even that doesn't seem good enough. I want her to grow old with her sweet husband. I want her to see her children to adulthood. I feel so helpless. And I am already grieving for her.

Spiff and I have discussed many times recently how we seem to have so many good friends who are going through terrible trials in their lives. My friend with cancer, another good friend who's pregnant wife had cancer on her tongue (thank goodness it was taken out and she is cancer free for now), good friends with infertility problems, friends who's children have been diagnosed with serious health problems. They have all been on my mind and in my prayers. While I am so grateful for my own family's current health, I find myself feeling guilty being grateful that it's not me. At least for now.

I feel so helpless. I wish I could do more for these people I love so much, and each and every one of them have been shining examples of how we should handle trials that come our way. They rely on the Lord. They share their experiences with those who love them, so that we can all at least pray for them. I'm sure they suffer more than they show, but they certainly do seem to handle things better than the way I imagine myself handling similar situations if I faced them.

And that is what I have been thinking about lately. Now I'm going to bed. Hopefully Spiff can get a few hours of sleep in the on-call room at the ICU tonight.