On Being Alone

I have an adorable little two-year-old niece who, like me, has two beautiful older sisters. I think she is a very insightful little girl because she feels lucky to have sisters. As I was visiting with her family not long ago, she walked past me, and in her sweet sing-song voice said, "I go play with my sisters!" As she rounded the corner to the play room, she sung out to them, "Hello, Sisters!"

I adore my own sisters, and I miss them every single day. One of them came to visit me last weekend. We had a great time together, and I'm so glad she came. But then, as I drove up to my house after dropping her off at the airport, I felt my heart sort of sink into my stomach with the thought, "I'm alone again."

I don't mean to sound depressing, or in any way ungrateful for my circumstances. Of course, I have Spiff, and I am so grateful that he loves me and comes home to me every day after his long, hard days of school/work. And of course, I have my little Gunner, who is with me almost all of the time. I have a constant companion who loves me so completely that I hardly dare ask why. So I'm not really alone. But I feel like it sometimes when I find myself facing daily life and my mountains of chores.

I bring up being alone because having my sister here was so refreshing. It was so very glorious to have some company. We ran errands together. I carried the bags, and she carried the baby. We cooked dinner together. She chopped, I stirred, and the food was finished and on the table in half the time. We talked, and she gave me an outlet for my insatiable need for conversation. We watched movies, hung out, and laughed until we cried, all in a way that only sisters can.

So when she left, I admit that I felt sad and a bit incapable of facing those mountains of chores...alone. Now imagine the big sigh, and me trudging up my large front stairs, head down, with the sad Snoopy song playing in the background.

And then a friend called me up and came over for a visit. We hung out together with our kids, talked, and ate lunch together. She probably didn't see it as an act of service, but it meant the world to me. For a few hours, she took my mind off of the fact that I'm not going to see my sister for months. She kept me company, I hope she knows how much I appreciate her friendship.

I feel like I am a fairly independent person. I enjoy running alone. I do most of my errands and shopping alone. I can eat alone at a restaurant. I have even gone to movies by myself. I enjoy having alone time. (Doesn't some time alone, without a baby crawling all over you, sound just divine?) I think that independence is an important quality to have. But I can't help feeling that sometimes, things are just better with some company.

I have great friends here, and I hope they don't mind me leaning on them when I feel lonely. They make it possible for me to be okay about being so far away from my sisters. They make it bearable to say "Hello, Sisters!" from thousands of miles away. They make it bearable to face the mountains of chores "alone".