Sunday, June 01, 2014

Ready or Not

We're home now.  All of us are home now.  The boys, Spiff's mom and I drove home and arrived a week and half ago.  Spiff flew home on Wednesday.  I feel a giant weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that we made it, that my big plan worked out, and that we can have this baby at home with the appropriate family members present.  I feel like we witnessed a miracle.

So now, let's have a baby!!!

But wait...

I'm not ready!

I am feeling pretty good physically, and I actually think that with everything that has been going on (the whole "living in another state for two months directly previous to giving birth") that I haven't had time to emotionally prepare for the baby.  I'm due in three days, but I feel like I would be totally okay if she were two weeks late.  I remember feeling so DONE being pregnant with my other two by the time this stage rolled around.  Not so this time.  I think I'm just so not looking forward to labor, delivery, post-partum and newborn-no-sleep that I would be okay if she were to take her sweet time.

I never thought I'd say that.  I really do not enjoy being pregnant.

I have spent the last week and a half at home getting my house ready for the baby, and I think I'm finally there.  We were busy little bees yesterday cleaning the house and cars, moving boxes of baby clothes and diapers, cutting boys' hair, etc.  The house is ready. 

My freezer is overstocked with tons of food (my personal form of Nesting).  The kitchen is ready. 

The boys have been enjoying the presence of their grandmother.  She has been awesome at reading them tons and tons of books and giving them attention while I have been busy cleaning out closets.  I think they're ready, although they probably have no real clue what's about to hit them.

It's just me, then.  I need to get ready.  Last night, I had my normal late-pregnancy dream where the baby sticks her hand out of the side of my belly (underneath the skin), in a way that we can clearly see all of her little fingers, so that we can hold her hand.  I have had this dream with all of my babies.  Maybe it's my weird little way of bonding with my fetus.  It was definitely a sweet little hand.  So, thank you, weird dream.  I guess that means I'm ready, too.

Let's do this.

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