This is how a 3-year-old skis

Spiff gives him a push at the beginning, and then walks next to him while Gunner slides down the hill.

I like the part when Gunner says "Bye" to his daddy.

That's my kid! He dives in head first. Spiff said that as they pulled into the parking lot, Gunner said from the back seat, "Daddy, I want to go fast down that hill by myself."

I think that sums up their experience in a nutshell. Gunner was thrilled to be there, and he picked it up so fast! Spiff took him up the bunny hill ski lift before he realized that there was a useable bunny hill. Gunner told me later that the operator had to stop the lift just after they got on. One of his skis had fallen off his foot, and it was dangling from the toe-clip, which is a little device that connects the tips of the skis in order to keep them together.

Spiff quickly realized that it was difficult to manage a 3-year-old on skis while he was on his own skis. So they headed over to the "bunnier hill", which has a "magic carpet" to transport kids from the bottom to the top of the hill. Think of a long, uphill conveyor belt, which is way better than the rope tow I had to use as a kid. I could never hang onto that thing!

Gunner made Spiff ditch the toe-clip device. Apparently it was cramping his style. Spiff said that he handled the skis really well, and that he was skiing circles around some of the other little kids on the hill who were taking private lessons. He had an amazingly good attitude about it. He fell a lot, but he hopped right up. The equipment was big and heavy for him, but he tried his best. He wasn't intimidated at all. He was a complete natural. He laughed the whole time. It makes me wish we lived here permanently so that we could foster his enthusiasm for this sport.

He has a little lift ticket hanging on his coat now. And he has to tell everyone he sees that he went skiing "today" or "last more" or "last week." He really was the happiest little boy on earth.

Winter Updateland

Spiff had a great rotation in January. He did an elective in Pathology, and while he found the subject boring, the hours were great. Mon-Fri, 9:30-somewhere between noon and 3, with weekends off. We had four glorious weekends where he got to go to church with us. I also enjoyed four weeks of running without my kids. It felt quite luxurious, and the whole thing made me remember what it feels like to have a husband at home. Easy months always make it that much harder for all of us when he returns to Medicine Wards, when he's gone before the kids wake up and home after they go to bed. We miss him.

During his pathology month, Spiff studied for and took Step 3 of the board exam. We are still awaiting results, but no one in their right mind can wonder whether he passed it or not. It is exciting to have jumped one more hurdle on the road of becoming a licensed physician.

We traveled to Idaho for him to take the test. We stayed with my parents for the weekend, and then stayed with my brother's family for a couple days while Spiff took the test. I enjoyed seeing my family, and he enjoyed two fun-filled days of multiple-choice questions in a testing center on the Idaho State University campus. I also got to show Spiff a little of my college campus. It was so weird to be back there, having graduated and moved on almost 10 years ago. I felt old, but I have such great memories of my college days, beloved professors and friends, and it was a fun walk down memory lane. It feels like a different life from the one I have now, having grown and changed so much from when I was a college girl. And it was definitely strange having Spiff with me, since he was never a part of my life while I lived there.

In other news, Hobbes is walking more and more every day. He has slowly worked up the courage, and I'm sure that he will be a walking-boy 100% of the time in about a week. I love watching him hobble around. I love this milestone because it's so permanent. Unlike so many phases babies go through and skills they learn, walking is one that they never grow out of. And it seems to change them from a baby into a toddler, and they all the sudden seem so much more grown-up than they did the day before.

Also, Hobbes has figured out how to manage stairs. All on his own, he discovered that the best way to descend stairs is to go down backwards! I'm so proud of him. And I love the freedom that it gives me, not having to worry (so much) about him falling off every stair he encounters.

Gunner has started swimming lessons. I signed him up in a class with his 5-year-old cousin, neither having taken lessons before. I was worried about him not paying attention, or not respecting the teacher. I was worried that he would just run off and splash around in the pool, ignoring his group. But he is doing so well! He listens. He participates. He takes turns. He does what the teacher asks him to do. And best of all, he loves it! He is always excited to tell me afterwards what they worked on. They did "bobs" in yesterday's lesson, and he even did a demonstration for us by putting his head down and blowing into the air. I think we may have found a great outlet for all of his energy, and I love that he's learning a really useful life skill in the process.

And last, but not least, Spiff is off work today (his last day off for 10 days!!) and is up at the mountain with Gunner. He borrowed some child-sized ski gear from a friend, and is taking Gunner skiing for the first time. What a lucky little boy we have! He woke up to find ski gear in the living room, and had to immediately try it all on. Helmet, goggles, snow pants, boots and tiny little skis that have got to be among the cutest things I have seen. He was so excited. I think Spiff might have been just as excited at the prospect of taking his son skiing with him. I'm at home with the baby, anxiously awaiting news of their great skiing adventure.

Open Book

I should have born my testimony today at church. I almost did, but chickened out before I stood up. I don't do it nearly often enough because it scares me. I am a back-row-sitter in classes. I don't raise my hand to make comments because it makes me nervous. Being nervous makes me blush. The most benign of comments will cause my face and neck to turn the brightest shades of red, which embarrasses me...and so I turn even redder...which embarrasses me more. So I rarely make comments in classes, and I even more rarely bare my testimony in testimony meeting.

I should have today, though. I had a great experience to share with my congregation. I was given the opportunity this week to explain the basic doctrine of our church with a member of another faith. She is a solid, faithful member of her congregation, and she asked me about the LDS church out of curiosity, nothing more. And even knowing that I wasn't under pressure to impress her by the possibility of her conversion to the church, it was an experience that almost knocked me flat. I found myself fumbling over my words, stumbling over explanations of church history, and stuttering over trying to find a concise way to explain the basic doctrine.

I came away from the experience wondering why it was so hard for me. I have been a faithful member all my life and have attended church on a weekly basis. I should know the answer to that question backward and forward. I have decided that it comes down to a lack of preparation. I have spent the last three years wrangling my children during sacrament meeting. I have also spent three years not attending Sunday School and Relief Society meetings because of my callings serving in the primary and nursery. Both of things are important, but they don't necessarily give me the opportunity to fully fill my spiritual glass during church, as it were.

I also did not serve a mission. I have never had the opportunity to teach the gospel, nor have I really been taught how to properly share the principles with others, despite the fact that we are all encouraged to be daily member missionaries. I realize that the spirit will guide us in situations like these if we are spiritually in tune, but I can't necessarily say that I'm so in tune these days. Perhaps I was guided in my answers. Perhaps I said just what she needed to hear. That is a nice thought.

But the point I want to make is that now I feel like I need to study up on how to answer that question so that I will be prepared the next time I have an opportunity to share. I should go read up on the history of the church, memorize some dates, re-memorize the Articles of Faith that I learned as a kid in primary (20 years ago!), and really have a good answer ready.

And then I will wait, perhaps ten years for another opportunity like this to come along, and by then I will have forgotten my perfect answer. I will probably no longer be prepared, and will fumble through it once again. Sigh.

The thought that ran over and over through my mind while I sat in sacrament meeting this morning, trying to talk myself into getting up at the pulpit, was that while I hope to be prepared to testify of the truthfulness of the Gospel the next time I have an opportunity, I really hope to be prepared to meet my Savior when the time comes. Since we don't know when either of those events will happen, it is up to us to be as prepared as possible at all times.

That's a high standard to uphold. And the more I think of it, the more I realize how short I'm falling of my goal. What with the demands of the children, marathon training(!!!), and Spiff's schedule, I find my spiritual preparation to be fairly low on my priority list of things to get done every day.

We are all busy, and my question to you, my faithful readers, is this: How do you do it? How do you fill your glass and prepare on a daily basis, despite your many life demands? Anyone have any awesome little tricks on how to fit it all in, in the midst of the craziness that is all of our lives?

Hobbes is One

My little Hobbes is so darn cute. I love that kid. He turned one a couple weeks ago, and we celebrated by having his aunties and cousins over for lunch. I made him his own Smash Cake. It was actually a two-layer cake, and I gave him the top tier to smash, while we ate the bottom tier. I know people who think I'm crazy for making a big fancy cake for a one-year-old's birthday, but I get so excited to see the babies smash a cake that I can't help it. It's all about the cake for me. Besides that, I have been watching Cake Boss, and I really just wanted a chance to make a cake. They are not as easy as Buddy Valastro makes it look. Anyway, Hobbes did a good job destroying his cake. He didn't eat much of it, but he did happily smash it to bits.

Most of you saw the cake on FB already, but if you didn't, here it is. This picture makes me wish that I were actually good at making cakes, like all the bakers at Carlo's. My sister and I also wished that we had a team of sculptors at our bidding to make a little modeling-chocolate figurine of Hobbes to put on top of the cake. Sigh.

The day before the party, I had noticed that Hobbes was feeling awfully brave as he cruised around the house and was letting go of whatever he was holding on to in order to stand on his own, for just a moment. He'd do it with a smile when he noticed me looking at him. So I decided to show off his new skill to my sisters at his little party. I stood him up in front of me...and he walked to me!

Yes he did! He took his first steps at his first birthday party, with me, Spiff & Gunner, my sisters, brother-in-law, and my nieces watching him! What a great moment! I just filled in the section in his baby book about the baby's first steps, and it asks how we celebrated that moment. I think it's a weird question. I hugged him. And we cheered.

I took him to see the doctor for his one-year check-up. When the doctor walked in, he told me, "Well, they didn't send you home from the hospital with the wrong baby." I have heard people say that he looks more and more like me, although his stats prove that he takes after certain members of Spiff's family. He is in the 22nd percentile for weight, 80th for height, and the 98th for head circumference! He's not a very big baby, but he has a HUGE head. It's just room for lots of brains, I guess.

Also, he is a terrible eater these days. He's so so so picky! Gunner is finally eating decently well, and I had hoped for an easy eater with my second child. Not so. Apparently we raise picky eaters somehow. My cousin has reminded me of what a picky eater I was as a child, so I'm sure that this is just pay-back. But if it is, I don't think it's necessarily fair. I wasn't being a picky eater as a child out of spite, or hatred of the world, or of anyone for that matter. Why do my children have to follow in my footsteps by taking pickiness to the next level?

The kid won't eat rice, noodles, beans, meat of any kind, potatoes or any cooked vegetables. He usually eats bananas, but not always. He usually eats yogurt and applesauce, but not always. Oh, and he Will Not drink cow's milk. Will not. He gets excited to drink it when he sees the cup, but goes stiff when it gets in his mouth. And then it all dribbles out. Again and again. He won't even eat Cheerios with milk on them. What baby doesn't like milk? Seriously.

After going through food struggles with Gunner, I'm not terribly concerned about Hobbes. I know he will grow out of it. Either that, or he will eventually be old enough to reason with about food consequences. But it is still annoying every time I open a banana or a can of pears that all gets thrown on the floor because he doesn't want it This time. And I really don't like the question I always end up asking myself, "What in the world am I going to feed my baby?" This is one of those times when I wish I had a cook. It would be so nice to not have to worry about feeding my children sometimes.

Besides the eating thing, he is truly such a joy. He is finally sleeping well. He sleeps like a champ, actually. It was such a struggle to get to this point that I don't feel bad at all for bragging about it. He is sweet, curious, happy, goofy and cuddly. He is also very quiet. He does babble a bit, but he keeps it to himself mostly, which is quite a change from Gunner. I sure do love him, and I can't quite believe it has already been a year since he joined our family. My, how time flies.

FM in the AM

Do you ever drive around in the morning with the radio on in your car, wishing there was more music, less talk, while you listen to the DJs and their silly commentary? Ever wonder who would care what the morning DJs have to say and who would laugh at their jokes?

I have. And now I know.

Gunner, that's who.

He has really started listening to things lately. In sacrament meeting, he'll perk up during a talk and say, "He said Jesus loves us." When we're listening to music, he'll say, "He said Love in a hopeless place." When we're at the store, he'll hear the guy in front of us at the check stand and tell me, "He said How's your day."

We were listening in the car this morning, and the DJs were doing a prolonged joke. I missed the story behind it, but it was a whole bunch of ending to "The Last Time." The last time you walked your dog. The last time you fished for a boot. The last time you got smacked in the head by a shoe, etc. He was laughing so hard I thought he might cry. He requested "the joking one" on our drive home in the afternoon.

I guess the intended audience to morning talk on the radio is a three-year-old boy.

While We're Talking About Church Music...

This post exposes my music snobbery. Please look away if you're going to judge me, or if you're a lover of "LDS music" as a genre. I don't want to offend anyone. But...

I have been asked to play a piano solo in Sacrament Meeting next week. The lady asked me a couple weeks ago, so I have had a while to think about this. I have such a hard time playing piano solos in church because I can never figure out what to play. Every time I am asked to do this, I wonder why I don't have a collection of appropriate music in my personal music library to choose from. As I have thought about it this time, I have come to this sad conclusion: there is none.

I am a Classical pianist, so my library includes Classical piano music. This music is generally secular, even though many of the composers wrote fantastic sacred choral, vocal, or other instrumental pieces. Bach's life was spent as a church composer, but most of his keyboard music (including the Well-Tempered Clavier, the French and English Suites, and the Partitas) is secular. Handle wrote The Messiah for choir and orchestra, but wrote nothing sacred for the keyboard. Beethoven and Mozart were kings of the sonata. Chopin, Schumann, Schubert, Debussy, Poulenc...all wrote fabulous secular piano music, none of which I think are appropriate for sacrament meeting, since it is a sacred meeting of worship, and not a recital.

That leaves my choices for sacrament meeting limited to arrangements of hymns. I think that there are many lovely vocal and instrumental arrangements of hymns, but for some reason, it just doesn't translate well to the piano. The LDS Church Pop Genre has had way too much of an influence on "Mormon Composers", and they end up arranging hymns for piano by arpeggiating the accompaniment and modulating as a form of emotional manipulation. I can't stand it. To me, it screams "Hey, I'm a fraud of a composer, and I'm desperately trying to manipulate you into feeling something!"

I have tried to put my sadly negative feelings on this matter aside and pick something out that will do for this meeting. I even found a decent arrangement of a primary song that I don't hate. In the end, I have decided on one of Mendelssohn's Songs Without Words. It's a bit risky since it's not a hymn, but Spiff assures me that it will invite the spirit. I wonder if anyone will ask me afterwards what hymn I was playing?

If you know of any great piano solos to play in sacrament meeting, please enlighten me. I would love to have a nice library of beautiful, spiritual piano solos in my library. It would sure make this process easier for me the next time around.

Let's Talk About Primary Music

I am the Assistant Primary Chorister in our ward. Yes, I did say "Assistant." This ward we live in is lucky enough to have two primary choristers. It makes sense to me because the primary chorister job is a big one. One where you have to entertain a varying age-group of kids, and one that you're "on" every week of the year. It's also one that you have to basically pull off a primary program by yourself. Well, that's not so fair to say, since the presidency and the teachers do so much work. But really, a whole lot of it is on the shoulders of the chorister. So, it's nice to have a partner so that we don't have to teach singing time every week.

I have had this calling for about four months, teaching about every other week. It's a fairly natural calling for me, since I am a musician and was basically born to be a music teacher. That being said, coming up with interesting lesson plans for the group of kids is difficult. I want to be able to pull something together that is simple and reverent, yet fun and entertaining, in a reasonable (i.e. short) amount of prep time. But finding such an activity that will appeal to both young and older children alike is difficult, and I stress way too much about it every time it is my turn to teach.

For example, today I taught the new 2012 Primary Song, which is printed in the little handout booklet the general presidency gives to every ward. I found an idea on a blog that sounded easy, but found out that prepping it took waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time. Then the more I did of it, the more her idea didn't make sense, and I wanted to do something else but had way too much time invested in it to start over. Super frustrating. I may or may not have stormed around the house at one point bemoaning the fact that none of the flashlights in our house had working batteries. (editor's note: the author did in fact have a snit re: batteries.)

This was my first Sunday teaching the junior and senior primary kids as separate groups (they had previously been combined). The lesson actually worked pretty well with the junior primary, although I found out that I had some pretty gaping holes in my lesson. I filled the holes before teaching the senior kids, got all geared up, and started my lesson. And do you know what? It is HARD to get senior primary kids to sing. The all stared at me with that look in their eyes that said, "You have got to be crazy if you think I'm going to sing this song." I continued with my 20-minute lesson with a huge fake smile on my face like it was the very best lesson anyone has ever done. At one point, one kid actually asked me, "Did you make this song up?" I showed them the printed music. No. I did not make up this song. Now sing! With a smile! And like it, dang it!!!

Now, I have two other problems. First, I don't like this new song. Here is a simplified version of the sheet music. I am not a fan of Janice Kapp Perry's music. This song, like many of her others, is uninteresting, the lyrics don't rhyme (how do you get away with rhyming "choose" and "too"?), and the melody is unmemorable, which will make it difficult for the kids to learn. I wish I liked it. I guess all children's songs are sweet when sung by our sweet little kids. But it's hard to be genuinely enthusiastic about teaching a song that you don't like. The kids sense it, and they call you out on it, and then eat you alive.

My second problem is that Gunner is now in Primary!!! He had his first day as a Sunbeam today. And he did okay. He didn't cry until (I heard later) he got to his classroom with his teachers and wanted his mom. Apparently he knocked over a chair in his anger. Yikes! How in the world do I teach that kid that it's okay to be with other adults than just me? And that it's never okay to just, oh, I don't know...Knock Over Chairs because you're mad!!! I'm a bit mortified about that.

But anyway, he's in Primary with me now. And I'm trying to lead the kids, keep all of their attention, get them all involved somehow, give turns to as many as possible, AND have my three-year-old hanging off of my arm now. During the 20 minutes of junior singing time today, Gunner was out of his chair no less than 20 times. "Mommy, I want to help you stick the paper up!" "Mommy, I want to help you lead!" "Mommy, I want my toys!" (I borrowed some of his toys as props today. I knew it was a bad decision when I did it. Putting the lesson together was a pain in the tookus, you see, so I did it anyway.) I'm surprised that my arm didn't fall off because of the amount of time he spent hanging off of it.

And that was week #1.

I guess I know what I'll be praying for in the weeks to come.

Not Enough

One of the nicest things about this one-year Intern Year is that we live in Utah long enough that I have been able to spend time with my family and some time with some of my oldest and dearest friends. In the last six months, I have:

Reconnected with my family. I have a weekly playdate with my sister and her daughter taking our kids to the zoo. I have had my nieces over for a sleepover. I have spent a couple weeks at my parents' house. I have enjoyed a holiday season filled with the best family traditions.

Seen my oldest friend. We met when we were five years old, and now she has five! children and is an amazing mom and dance teacher.

Had play dates with my favorite college roommate who's two boys are so much like Gunner that it kills me that we don't live next door. They could wrestle and play Lightning McQueen and Angry Birds together every day and be the happiest kids in the world.

Driven to CA to see some our favorite people from our medical school years.

Spent time on a regular basis with my favorite cousin and her awesome kids.

Made a new friend who is awesome enough to run an upcoming marathon with me.

Spent time over the holidays with friends from St. Louis who are visiting family in Utah. Our kids feel like they have gone home with each other. And it makes me miss the community of awesome people we lived with while Spiff was in medical school, who have now mostly scattered themselves around the country.

I feel so blessed to have the time and opportunity to spend some good and honest time with my family and with so many of my closest friends. It is truly wonderful to rekindle these relationships that have been long-distance for so long. (I moved away from this area nine years ago.) But as I think about this blessing, what I realize is that this year is not enough. The few short hours I get to spend with friends who are visiting, or with friends while I'm visiting Idaho, or the days I spend with my family are never going to be enough.

The more time I spend here, the harder it is going to be for me to move away again in six short months. In the back of my mind, I knew it would be this way when we moved here in June. I had been away for so long that I was used to long-distance. And now that I'm settled here and feel slightly at home, it's going to be so hard to turn these relationships back into long-distance ones.

So, I have this idea. It's a pretty good one, too. When I die, I expect that my own person Heaven will be a giant suburb where all of my favorite people, my family and all of my friends who I have known and loved throughout my life on earth, will all live by me and be my next-door neighbors. We will either all have connecting back yard gates, or whoever you need to be next door to you can be at any time. It will work because it's Heaven and because all things are possible in Heaven, right?

I sure do hope it's like that, or something equally awesome. I love my family and friends dearly, and since it's not possible to be with them always on earth, I hope to be able to earn the privilege to be with them always in the eternities.

Simple Sports

I love the simplicity of running. Good running gear is nice, but I love that all you really need to run is a good pair of running shoes. Compared to Spiff's other beloved sports, including biking, rowing and skiing that require a bare minimum of a large investment in order to get started, running seems like the most lovely, simple thing of the athletic world.

These days, however, here's what it takes for me to get out on even the shortest of runs:

My own running gear, including sunglasses, warm winter running pants, jacket, hat and gloves.

My two children, since Spiff is working all hours and they come with me, who both need to be fed and clothed before setting out

Double jogging stroller

Weather shield for the stroller

Coats and gloves for the kids

Blankets

Warmed rice bags for a little extra warmth in the 20 degree weather

Toys and occasionally food for the older one

And my awesome running partner, her little boy (with accompanying equipment mentioned above), and her Magic Garmin Watch to tell us how far and fast we're going.

That's a lot of stuff. It takes me at least 45 minutes to get ready to go for a 30-60 minute run.

Besides that, I have a wish list. I want my own treadmill. I want my own Magic Watch. I want my own Ipod (I know, right?! Who doesn't have an Ipod these days? Spiff has one that he uses at work, but I don't.). I want a new techie running cap and a strap-on-my-hand-while-I-run water bottle. I want new running shoes and socks. I want to register for a whole lot of events.

Some of these things are needs, and some of these will become needs when we move to Minnesota next year. But what this list boils down to is a whole lot of money invested into a sport that is supposed to be as simple and inexpensive as strapping on a pair of running shoes.

Very Christmas

Alright, so the Christmas Season is trucking along. With two weeks to go, I feel like I have made progress, but still have so many little things to finish up that I'm still completely overwhelmed. I've got my Christmas cards, but they need to be sent out. I have presents that need to be wrapped, some packages sent, but some that need to be sent. I have neighbor gifts to make and deliver. I have a few more presents to purchase. I wish that I could be super organized like my neighbor, Kalie, and have everything done already so that I could simply enjoy the activities of the season...stuff like this:

We decorated for Christmas just after Thanksgiving, and Gunner was so sad when I took his Thanksgiving window sticker turkey down. Then some amazing Christmas elves (thank you Mom and Auntie Mhana) sent him new fancy Christmas window stickers! We have the most festive window on the block.

We went to Temple Square last night. It never ceases to amaze me. The lights are overwhelmingly beautiful, and I love it, always. I also can't help but think about the manpower and hours of work that go into putting up and taking down that display every year. Wowzah!

We tried taking the boys to a live nativity the other night, but when we got there, the area was all parked up, and there was a line of people stretching several blocks down the street. We decided not to wait in line, drove around a bit, and ended up at the zoo, where they have an event called Zoo Lights. Most of the actual animals were asleep, but we walked around looking at neon animal displays. And.........Santa's Reindeer! They have real reindeer there! Very cool.

I had a small wrapping party at my house the other night. I got two whole presents wrapped, but a whole lot of talking to friends in.

We attended my sister's ward Christmas party, where Gunner got to sit on Santa's lap. When asked what he would like for Christmas, Gunner replied, "Christmas." Well, who wouldn't?!

Gunner is so excited about Christmas this year. He's enjoying all of our little family traditions. He wakes up every morning asking to open a box from our Playmobil Advent Calender. Then we have to turn on all of the Christmas lights. Then he wants to pull out an ornament on the felt advent calender my mom made for us. Then he has to find the stuffed Tomten, which is a Scandinavian folk character who guards our tree and hides every night. He loves it all so much that I'm sort of dreading the day when Hobbes cares about doing these fun things, too. Who would want to share such fun activities?! But that's a problem for another year.

Also, I finally have a few presents under our tree, and they are killing Gunner. Just killing him! He asks about 15 times a day if he can open them, and he just doesn't get the benefit of waiting and the concept of anticipation. We got a package of presents the other day from our Aunt, and he was so upset by not being able to open them that he stormed off saying, "I Hate presents. I want to throw the presents in the garbage!" So you see, I was incredibly grateful to Spiff's mom when her package arrived, and there was a present labeled, "To Gunner, Open Right Away." Best words ever! It was the Three Playmobil Wisemen and a Camel, an addition to our excellent Nativity Scene. Grammy, you really won Christmas this year!!!

And last for today, Gunner accompanied me to tithing settlement today, while Hobbes and Spiff were home sleeping. As we were leaving, Gunner wished the bishop a "Very Christmas!"

Very Christmas, everyone!

Turkey Trot

I ran my first ever Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. I can't believe I have never done it before! There couldn't be a better way to show my gratitude to Heavenly Father for my healthy body than by running, just before cooking all day and then shoving it with tons of delicious food. Yes, I am grateful for food and health this season.

I'm also grateful for my 5K PR!!!
My time: 25:18 (Sixth in my age group). I think this is a 6-minute PR!
I ran with my sister, who came in at 25:45 (seventh in our age group). Very cool!

I loved it, and I think I'll finally join the masses and make this part of my Thanksgiving traditions.

Sunday Afternoon Agenda

Today was a long Sunday, with Spiff at work all day. The Sundays Spiff is working seem to drag on forever, and I have a hard time figuring out what to do to entertain my kids when going to a park or a store is out of the question. I got lucky today, though. I had a really awesome kid to keep me company. Here's how we spent the afternoon.

• I started to play the piano, and immediately had two boys wanting to play along.
• Then Gunner wanted to dance to the piano music, so he danced. Then he wanted me to dance with him.
• Dancing led to him getting his dancing dress-up on (which is a "pretty dress" that is really just one of my old shirts).
• It also led to me turning on some old clips of Dancing With the Stars dances, me "lifting" him gracefully off the couch (this kid has got some moves, let me tell you!), and him putting on his Robin (Batman's sidekick) suit on, so he could look like Helio Castroneves in a suit.
• Dressing up as Robin led him to dressing up as Batman himself, which led to him driving a Batmobile he created from a diaper box.
• Then he dressed up as a Super Fireman, which is a Fireman who sports a Red cape. He saved Hobbes and me from many a fire.
• But then there was the fire he couldn't save me from, and I got "sick". He made me lie down on the floor so he could nurse me back to health He was the sweetest care-taker. He gave me shots, medicine, and all of his most special toys to help me feel better. He also came to the hospital as a visitor to help me not be lonely.
• Having me sick on the floor led to him getting out all of the pillows in our house so that I would be comfortable. (Hobbes liked that one. He rolled around on the pillows laughing, like he was a millionaire rolling around on a pile of money.)
• When he helped me feel better, he got "sick" himself, and I was instructed to "feel him better." Good thing I had a great care-taker to teach me how to take of a sick person.

And that's how we spent our afternoon. He's a fun little kid to play with. Hobbes spent the day following him around, and there were some times when the two of them were both rolling on the floor laughing together. Goodness, I love seeing his imagination develop, and watching the relationship between these little brothers grow.

This is what I call Joy.

Fix-It Christmas

Okay, so I'm skipping the Thanksgiving post for now, and heading right on to Christmas. If you refuse to acknowledge Christmas until Thanksgiving is over, then I'll see you next week.

I will first admit that I'm not looking forward to buying gifts for my loved ones this year because I (once again) do not have any great ideas for any of them. I feel like this always sneaks up on me, and I always end up procrastinating it until I end up spending too much money on shipping right before Christmas. Either that or getting into a losing battle with a post office worker. Gift buying ends up being a big stressor for me. I don't know how to quickly come up with something great, that doesn't seem chintzy on a small budget. I'd love to get awesome things for the people I love, or do something lovely, heartfelt and homemade. But I don't have the time, money or talent to pull off anything great like that. Sigh. I guess I'll be praying for some inspiration.

Second, Spiff and I have decided not really to buy each other gifts this year. With a move coming up in June, and in an effort to keep the cost down and the level of "stuff" in our house to a minimum, we have come up with what we are calling "The Fix-It Christmas."

Instead of buying new things, we are spending any money we would spend on gifts fixing things that have been on a To-Fix list for months/years. We are upgrading things. And we are replacing things.

It's not elaborate. Little things, like my watch battery that hasn't worked for about a year and half. Spiff's heart-rate monitor battery that needs to be sent out to a special place to be replaced. New running shoes that I need for my upcoming marathon. Parts for the Yakima rack that we'll need for the move. Etc.

It sort of takes the surprise out of the gift-giving and receiving side of things, and it does seem sort of lame to get/give a watch battery for Christmas. But I feel a whole lot of peace with our little plan, knowing what's coming up in our lives, and knowing that we did something to minimize the chaos in our home. Besides that all of it will be done with money that we will need to spend anyway, so we might as well wrap it up and put a bow on it. Don't you think?

My Shadow

I have a permanent shadow these days that follows me around all day, in sunshine and rain. It is about three feet tall, talks constantly, and is named Gunner.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about this phase of his life, but he cannot seem to be more than two feet away from me at all times. If I am sitting on the couch, he is sitting next to me, asking me to read to him. If I am looking at the computer, he is on my lap asking me what I'm looking at. If I am making dinner, he is playing on the kitchen floor. If I am folding laundry, he is sitting on my bed. If I am interacting with Hobbes in any way, he is right there next to me, getting involved. If I am not carrying Hobbes, he wants me to carry him.

The funniest part is when I am doing chores and am moving from room to room. He sits at my feet on the bathroom rug while I do my hair. Then when I go downstairs to do some laundry, I hear, "MOM?! Where are you?!" I call back, "I'm downstairs," and the next thing I know, my shadow has found me and is resuming his game, again at my feet. We repeat this situation in every room all day long.

It is cute, albeit exhausting having him constantly under my feet. He has to win me up the stairs. He has to get to the door and open it before I do. He has climb out my car door and pop the trunk whenever we go anywhere. And did I mention the constant talking? This boy does not know how to be quiet. He has a constant stream of words, dictating the narrative of his life. Even the rare occasion of him "quietly reading a book to himself" is narrated. No wonder sitting quietly in church is such a struggle for him!

I keep wondering when he will get more independent, and if I will miss the days of my little talking shadow. I probably will.

...But not much. :)

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jog

We had a great trip to California. I loved seeing our friends, although seeing them makes me freshly miss them all over again. They are such good friends, and I love seeing our children together. Gunner played guns and wrestled with their 5-year-old the entire time we were there. He loved it. He also hugged their two girls any chance he got. I went running with my old running partner, we made cookies, took the kids trick or treating, carved pumpkins, played games, ate BBQ Ribs, and we even went on a date. Awesome. And totally worth the hours and hours of traveling and whining kids.

We have enjoyed the rest of Spiff's vacation week at home. He has gone mountain biking and skating, like he wanted. We have watched a lot of TV. We have relaxed, and I feel 100% refreshed, but somehow completely NOT ready for him to go back to work.

In other news:

We have experiences three seasons in one week. We have played in the Pacific Ocean and the beach, played in Fall leaves, and played in snow. Gunner has loved it. And so have I.

We came home from our trip to find that The Neighbors have moved. I guess I can check that one off the list of things to worry about.

I signed up for my first full marathon, coming up in May 2012. I'm excited to take my running to the next level, but I am also terrified! I don't know how I'm going to find the time to train, what with taking care of my kids and Spiff's busy schedule. But the good news is that my new running partner neighbor also signed up, so we'll be able to train together and support each other with our kids. So it's on to a Winter of cross-training, leading up to full-marathon training in the Spring! Wowzah!

Hobbes figured out how to sleep through the night, for approximately a week and half. He slept all night long during our entire trip! It was glorious! And now that we're home, we're sort of back to square one. Hopefully he'll remember quickly. He has learned how to pull himself up on things, to cruise around furniture, and he is getting so much more comfortable getting himself up and down and all around. It's super fun to see him be such a busy little guy.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Spiff's vacation starts tonight, promptly at 5:00 pm. The kids and I are picking him up from work and driving to California to visit some medical school friends. I could not be more excited! Not only do I get to see our good friends, I get to spend time with my husband when he's not sleep-deprived and stressed out! Ah, what sweet relief a little R&R will bring!

Wish us luck on the drive, cuz we're out of here and spending Halloween in sunny CA!

To the Doctor!

This post is more for me than anyone else. I took the kids to the doctor last week, Gunner for his 3-year well-child check, and Hobbes for his 9-month baby check. You'll all be relieved to know that my children are growing just fine, and they're both as healthy as can be. Whew. What a relief. I know you were worried.

Stats:

Gunner weighs 33.8 lbs., and he is 39.5 inches tall.

Hobbes weighs 19.2 lbs, and is 29.25 inches long.

He's in the 28th percentile for weight, with a 90th percentile head circumference. Gunner was always in the 70th percentile, so it's sort of strange for me to have a smaller baby.

Both of the boys got shots, Hobbes a flu shot, and Gunner a Hep B booster he should have gotten half a year ago. Gunner hasn't had a shot for a year, so I prepared him by telling him he was going to feel a little poke. I expected a little bit of a tantrum or a fight. Instead, he watched the nurse give him the shot, sort of flinched, and then said, "Hmm, why do I have a bandaid?" No tears or fears of any kind. He's such a champ!

Also, this doesn't have anything to do with the doctor, but just to update you all on the doings and growings of our sweet little baby. He has a tooth and is working on another. I loved his gummy smile, but I sure do love that little tooth. Super cute! And he can pull himself up on things. Now that he can do it, he spends all day long pulling himself up and grinning from ear to ear. He's so proud of himself! He still has a really awkward army crawl where he pushes/pulls himself around. It looks so uncomfortable, but he's just as happy as can be with it. And he's Fast! He can really get around, limping and lurching like a little lizard who has a broken arm and leg. Oh well. Whatever works, right? Other than the fact that he doesn't sleep at night, he is just the most awesome, happy and pleasant little baby in the world. Simply happy to be alive. Love him!

An Hour and Fifteen Minutes

That's how long my baby cries when he wakes up at night. When I hear him wake up at night, I look at the clock and know that we'll have to endure his pitiful cries for no less than an hour and fifteen minutes.

I'm so sad that I know this.

How long have we been sleep training? Three months, if I remember correctly. We have had to endure this for So Long. It's miserable every night, and I feel like the worst momma in the world every. single. time.

And I think the very worst part of it is the regret. We went through this with Gunner as a baby. We rocked him to sleep as a tiny baby, and I loved it. Only when it stopped working (around six months) did we painfully decide, as first-time parents, that we needed to let him cry-it-out. Spiff and I both decided that crying-it-out was so miserable that we would never let another baby of ours become dependent on us to go to sleep. We convinced ourselves that it was our fault that he didn't have any self-soothing skills, and that we caused that situation.

So when Hobbsie came around, we both refused to rock him to sleep. From the very beginning, we put him down in his bed to fall asleep on his own. With the help of a swaddle and a binkie, "we taught him self-soothing skills," and he was awesome at falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night. Up until six months old, when just like Gunner, it stopped working.

And now I feel like I missed out on one of the most precious and wonderful experiences I can have with my sweet little child...rocking and holding him as a tiny baby. And it was all for nothing. And I will never get that time back.

I also have plenty of time to think about this awful regret...every night...as he cries-it-out for an hour and fifteen minutes.

The Neighbors

This is a picture of someone getting arrested right in front of our house. Sorry the picture is so crappy. I was taking it from inside my house (so as not to be such an obvious creeper), and the reflections from my window are terrible. But you get the gist, right?

Notice the guy on the right who has rubber "drug-finding" gloves on? And the black unmarked police vehicles? There were at least seven of them on the street. There were police milling around the house all afternoon, and even a Drug Dog that got in that white car and sniffed all around. Interesting to watch. Exciting drama at our place today!

I have actually been thinking about posting something about our neighbors for a while. But Spiff informed me that the home teachers said that they would be moving soon, so I held my tongue. Until the drug bust today.

Gunner has made friends with the neighbor kids. One of the kids is an 8-year-old boy who is very nice and well-mannered. He comes over and brings his cool "big kid toys" that Gunner loves to play with. I don't actually mind when the big kid comes over because it keeps Gunner completely occupied for a couple hours.

I do mind it when his little sister (who is seven, I think) comes over, too. She knocked on the door the other day. I opened it. She said, "Um, is my brother here?" I said, "Yes, he is." She stared at me. Then she said, "Well, can I come in?" I let her in.

She's a decent kid, too, except that she's a big more negative than her brother. She says sort of mean things. And when she comes, her brother plays with her and not with Gunner. Then the two of them are playing with each other, at my house, with Gunner's toys, ignoring Gunner.

It's weird.

I have all these concerns, but they have mostly stemmed from the fact that I don't know the family. I worry that they'll teach Gunner behaviors that aren't appropriate for a 3-year-old because they don't seem to understand that he is a lot younger than them. I worry that he feels bad when the sister is around and he is being ignored. But mostly I worry that they will take him out of my house and across the street to their house without me knowing.

The other day, the kids were here, and I told them that Gunner, the baby, and I had to go run an errand. The boy said, "Well, can Gunner come to our house?" I said, "No." Him: "But I could ask my mom to watch him." Me: "Um, no thanks." Him: "But it's not a big deal at all. He could just come over." Me: (Letting out a little scream in my head) "No! I'm just going to take him with me!"

And then today. The drug bust. Gunner asked me, "Can I play with my friend?" I said, "Well, honey, he's probably going to be busy today." Gunner: "Why?"

Oh boy. How do I explain that one to a 3-year-old?

The kids are nice. I'm just uncomfortable with the whole situation. And I feel bad for hoping that they really do move soon.

Conference Weekend

One of the things I have realized about living in the Salt Lake valley is that it's sort of tricky to make friend here because almost everyone who lives here lives close to home. That means that they already have family and old friends around, and they don't have tons of room for new people, especially new people who are here temporarily. I'm lucky that I also have a small circle of family and old friends here (and even a new one), but they had plans with other family, and I found myself a little on the lonely side this Conference Weekend as I remembered several years of watching Conference, eating yummy food, and spending time with good friends on this weekend. (I will mention that some of my family members were nice and invited me their family functions, but I didn't want to intrude.)

That's why I was so grateful to be invited to a breakfast this morning with some of our close friends from Spiff's medical school who are doing their residencies in Utah. Our four families, minus Spiff and another of the husbands, ate a delicious breakfast together, and then let the kids play in the backyard while Conference blared on the radio. It was glorious! Perfect October weather plus happy and occupied kids means that I actually got to listen to a snippet of some of the talks. Thank you, Lindsey, for putting it together! I felt like I had a little taste of "home" today.

On a slightly related topic, I have recently given Gunner a job. I got tired of him getting upset with me when I forgot his cup of water (known as "Truck Water" because of the pictures of trucks on the cup) on an outing. So, I decided to let it be his responsibility. I tell him, "If you want your Truck Water, then you have to bring it with you." I remind him to grab it, but when he asks for it, I have loved being able to say, "Nope, I don't have it. Did you bring it?" And he loves feeling like a big kid with a responsibility.

In the few minutes of Conference I was able to catch on Saturday afternoon, Gunner sat on my lap and listened for about 30 seconds. The speaker talked about church callings and responsibilities. Gunner perked up at a word he recognized.

Today, Spiff asked Gunner if he listened to the prophet speak.

Gunner said, "Um, yeah."

Spiff asked, "What did he tell you?"

Gunner replied, "He told me that it is my sponsibility to bring my truck water."

Spiritual lesson...Check.