The Things He Says

The Talk:

Gunner's talk on Sunday went surprisingly well. His teacher had told me that he wanted a turn talking at the podium, and he seemed excited to do it. But I thought for sure that he would chicken out. All week long, he was insistent that he tell the story of Jesus being resurrected, but I got him to "write" a talk with me about King Benjamin and keeping the commandments.

On Sunday, he bravely got up in front of the primary, and he didn't even hesitate for a moment. I whispered in his ear, and he said, "King Benjamin...No, Mom, let's skip that part." (He did not say, Let's get to the good part about when Jesus was resurrected, but that's what I heard.) I cracked up, pulled it together, and together we delivered his talk. It was awesome, and I am still so proud.

The Possessive:

Okay, so he is actually growing out of this one, but I wish he wouldn't. I love it, and I have to record it before I forget. When he talks about something that belongs to someone else, it goes like this:

I want to go to Louis is house.

Can I play with Holly is toys?

Look, there are Hobbes is cars!

Did you see Isaac is daddy?

The Phrase:

He is also experimenting with phrases that we say all the time, even when he doesn't understand them. Some examples from the past few days:

(As we drove in the car) Step it on, Mom! Go fast!

(As he giggled at his brother) Hobbes is cracking me out!

(As he carried a paper from the car to the house) I don't want it to wind away!

The Finale for Today:

My niece spent the day with us on Friday. She and Gunner played and played happily together all day long, which I have to say was awesome beyond belief. While she was here, I overheard him say to her:

My dad will be strangely excited to know that you're here!

I will be strangely excited if these made you smile. He makes me giggle every day.

Gunner's First Primary Talk

Gunner is supposed to give his first talk in primary tomorrow. The theme we were given was Mosiah 2:22. I started to prep him for actually sitting down to write the talk, and we had this conversation.

Me: Do you remember the story of King Benjamin?

Gunner: I don't want to tell that story. I want to tell about when Jesus was resurrected.

M: Why do you want to tell that story instead?

G: Because I like it.

M: Oh, can you tell me the story?

G: I can't read it from the scriptures.

M: Can you remember what happens in the story? Can you tell it to me?

G: Well, Jesus was resurrected. That's all.

I don't know about you, but I think he's ready.

This is how a 3-year-old skis

Spiff gives him a push at the beginning, and then walks next to him while Gunner slides down the hill.

I like the part when Gunner says "Bye" to his daddy.

That's my kid! He dives in head first. Spiff said that as they pulled into the parking lot, Gunner said from the back seat, "Daddy, I want to go fast down that hill by myself."

I think that sums up their experience in a nutshell. Gunner was thrilled to be there, and he picked it up so fast! Spiff took him up the bunny hill ski lift before he realized that there was a useable bunny hill. Gunner told me later that the operator had to stop the lift just after they got on. One of his skis had fallen off his foot, and it was dangling from the toe-clip, which is a little device that connects the tips of the skis in order to keep them together.

Spiff quickly realized that it was difficult to manage a 3-year-old on skis while he was on his own skis. So they headed over to the "bunnier hill", which has a "magic carpet" to transport kids from the bottom to the top of the hill. Think of a long, uphill conveyor belt, which is way better than the rope tow I had to use as a kid. I could never hang onto that thing!

Gunner made Spiff ditch the toe-clip device. Apparently it was cramping his style. Spiff said that he handled the skis really well, and that he was skiing circles around some of the other little kids on the hill who were taking private lessons. He had an amazingly good attitude about it. He fell a lot, but he hopped right up. The equipment was big and heavy for him, but he tried his best. He wasn't intimidated at all. He was a complete natural. He laughed the whole time. It makes me wish we lived here permanently so that we could foster his enthusiasm for this sport.

He has a little lift ticket hanging on his coat now. And he has to tell everyone he sees that he went skiing "today" or "last more" or "last week." He really was the happiest little boy on earth.

Winter Updateland

Spiff had a great rotation in January. He did an elective in Pathology, and while he found the subject boring, the hours were great. Mon-Fri, 9:30-somewhere between noon and 3, with weekends off. We had four glorious weekends where he got to go to church with us. I also enjoyed four weeks of running without my kids. It felt quite luxurious, and the whole thing made me remember what it feels like to have a husband at home. Easy months always make it that much harder for all of us when he returns to Medicine Wards, when he's gone before the kids wake up and home after they go to bed. We miss him.

During his pathology month, Spiff studied for and took Step 3 of the board exam. We are still awaiting results, but no one in their right mind can wonder whether he passed it or not. It is exciting to have jumped one more hurdle on the road of becoming a licensed physician.

We traveled to Idaho for him to take the test. We stayed with my parents for the weekend, and then stayed with my brother's family for a couple days while Spiff took the test. I enjoyed seeing my family, and he enjoyed two fun-filled days of multiple-choice questions in a testing center on the Idaho State University campus. I also got to show Spiff a little of my college campus. It was so weird to be back there, having graduated and moved on almost 10 years ago. I felt old, but I have such great memories of my college days, beloved professors and friends, and it was a fun walk down memory lane. It feels like a different life from the one I have now, having grown and changed so much from when I was a college girl. And it was definitely strange having Spiff with me, since he was never a part of my life while I lived there.

In other news, Hobbes is walking more and more every day. He has slowly worked up the courage, and I'm sure that he will be a walking-boy 100% of the time in about a week. I love watching him hobble around. I love this milestone because it's so permanent. Unlike so many phases babies go through and skills they learn, walking is one that they never grow out of. And it seems to change them from a baby into a toddler, and they all the sudden seem so much more grown-up than they did the day before.

Also, Hobbes has figured out how to manage stairs. All on his own, he discovered that the best way to descend stairs is to go down backwards! I'm so proud of him. And I love the freedom that it gives me, not having to worry (so much) about him falling off every stair he encounters.

Gunner has started swimming lessons. I signed him up in a class with his 5-year-old cousin, neither having taken lessons before. I was worried about him not paying attention, or not respecting the teacher. I was worried that he would just run off and splash around in the pool, ignoring his group. But he is doing so well! He listens. He participates. He takes turns. He does what the teacher asks him to do. And best of all, he loves it! He is always excited to tell me afterwards what they worked on. They did "bobs" in yesterday's lesson, and he even did a demonstration for us by putting his head down and blowing into the air. I think we may have found a great outlet for all of his energy, and I love that he's learning a really useful life skill in the process.

And last, but not least, Spiff is off work today (his last day off for 10 days!!) and is up at the mountain with Gunner. He borrowed some child-sized ski gear from a friend, and is taking Gunner skiing for the first time. What a lucky little boy we have! He woke up to find ski gear in the living room, and had to immediately try it all on. Helmet, goggles, snow pants, boots and tiny little skis that have got to be among the cutest things I have seen. He was so excited. I think Spiff might have been just as excited at the prospect of taking his son skiing with him. I'm at home with the baby, anxiously awaiting news of their great skiing adventure.

Open Book

I should have born my testimony today at church. I almost did, but chickened out before I stood up. I don't do it nearly often enough because it scares me. I am a back-row-sitter in classes. I don't raise my hand to make comments because it makes me nervous. Being nervous makes me blush. The most benign of comments will cause my face and neck to turn the brightest shades of red, which embarrasses me...and so I turn even redder...which embarrasses me more. So I rarely make comments in classes, and I even more rarely bare my testimony in testimony meeting.

I should have today, though. I had a great experience to share with my congregation. I was given the opportunity this week to explain the basic doctrine of our church with a member of another faith. She is a solid, faithful member of her congregation, and she asked me about the LDS church out of curiosity, nothing more. And even knowing that I wasn't under pressure to impress her by the possibility of her conversion to the church, it was an experience that almost knocked me flat. I found myself fumbling over my words, stumbling over explanations of church history, and stuttering over trying to find a concise way to explain the basic doctrine.

I came away from the experience wondering why it was so hard for me. I have been a faithful member all my life and have attended church on a weekly basis. I should know the answer to that question backward and forward. I have decided that it comes down to a lack of preparation. I have spent the last three years wrangling my children during sacrament meeting. I have also spent three years not attending Sunday School and Relief Society meetings because of my callings serving in the primary and nursery. Both of things are important, but they don't necessarily give me the opportunity to fully fill my spiritual glass during church, as it were.

I also did not serve a mission. I have never had the opportunity to teach the gospel, nor have I really been taught how to properly share the principles with others, despite the fact that we are all encouraged to be daily member missionaries. I realize that the spirit will guide us in situations like these if we are spiritually in tune, but I can't necessarily say that I'm so in tune these days. Perhaps I was guided in my answers. Perhaps I said just what she needed to hear. That is a nice thought.

But the point I want to make is that now I feel like I need to study up on how to answer that question so that I will be prepared the next time I have an opportunity to share. I should go read up on the history of the church, memorize some dates, re-memorize the Articles of Faith that I learned as a kid in primary (20 years ago!), and really have a good answer ready.

And then I will wait, perhaps ten years for another opportunity like this to come along, and by then I will have forgotten my perfect answer. I will probably no longer be prepared, and will fumble through it once again. Sigh.

The thought that ran over and over through my mind while I sat in sacrament meeting this morning, trying to talk myself into getting up at the pulpit, was that while I hope to be prepared to testify of the truthfulness of the Gospel the next time I have an opportunity, I really hope to be prepared to meet my Savior when the time comes. Since we don't know when either of those events will happen, it is up to us to be as prepared as possible at all times.

That's a high standard to uphold. And the more I think of it, the more I realize how short I'm falling of my goal. What with the demands of the children, marathon training(!!!), and Spiff's schedule, I find my spiritual preparation to be fairly low on my priority list of things to get done every day.

We are all busy, and my question to you, my faithful readers, is this: How do you do it? How do you fill your glass and prepare on a daily basis, despite your many life demands? Anyone have any awesome little tricks on how to fit it all in, in the midst of the craziness that is all of our lives?

Hobbes is One

My little Hobbes is so darn cute. I love that kid. He turned one a couple weeks ago, and we celebrated by having his aunties and cousins over for lunch. I made him his own Smash Cake. It was actually a two-layer cake, and I gave him the top tier to smash, while we ate the bottom tier. I know people who think I'm crazy for making a big fancy cake for a one-year-old's birthday, but I get so excited to see the babies smash a cake that I can't help it. It's all about the cake for me. Besides that, I have been watching Cake Boss, and I really just wanted a chance to make a cake. They are not as easy as Buddy Valastro makes it look. Anyway, Hobbes did a good job destroying his cake. He didn't eat much of it, but he did happily smash it to bits.

Most of you saw the cake on FB already, but if you didn't, here it is. This picture makes me wish that I were actually good at making cakes, like all the bakers at Carlo's. My sister and I also wished that we had a team of sculptors at our bidding to make a little modeling-chocolate figurine of Hobbes to put on top of the cake. Sigh.

The day before the party, I had noticed that Hobbes was feeling awfully brave as he cruised around the house and was letting go of whatever he was holding on to in order to stand on his own, for just a moment. He'd do it with a smile when he noticed me looking at him. So I decided to show off his new skill to my sisters at his little party. I stood him up in front of me...and he walked to me!

Yes he did! He took his first steps at his first birthday party, with me, Spiff & Gunner, my sisters, brother-in-law, and my nieces watching him! What a great moment! I just filled in the section in his baby book about the baby's first steps, and it asks how we celebrated that moment. I think it's a weird question. I hugged him. And we cheered.

I took him to see the doctor for his one-year check-up. When the doctor walked in, he told me, "Well, they didn't send you home from the hospital with the wrong baby." I have heard people say that he looks more and more like me, although his stats prove that he takes after certain members of Spiff's family. He is in the 22nd percentile for weight, 80th for height, and the 98th for head circumference! He's not a very big baby, but he has a HUGE head. It's just room for lots of brains, I guess.

Also, he is a terrible eater these days. He's so so so picky! Gunner is finally eating decently well, and I had hoped for an easy eater with my second child. Not so. Apparently we raise picky eaters somehow. My cousin has reminded me of what a picky eater I was as a child, so I'm sure that this is just pay-back. But if it is, I don't think it's necessarily fair. I wasn't being a picky eater as a child out of spite, or hatred of the world, or of anyone for that matter. Why do my children have to follow in my footsteps by taking pickiness to the next level?

The kid won't eat rice, noodles, beans, meat of any kind, potatoes or any cooked vegetables. He usually eats bananas, but not always. He usually eats yogurt and applesauce, but not always. Oh, and he Will Not drink cow's milk. Will not. He gets excited to drink it when he sees the cup, but goes stiff when it gets in his mouth. And then it all dribbles out. Again and again. He won't even eat Cheerios with milk on them. What baby doesn't like milk? Seriously.

After going through food struggles with Gunner, I'm not terribly concerned about Hobbes. I know he will grow out of it. Either that, or he will eventually be old enough to reason with about food consequences. But it is still annoying every time I open a banana or a can of pears that all gets thrown on the floor because he doesn't want it This time. And I really don't like the question I always end up asking myself, "What in the world am I going to feed my baby?" This is one of those times when I wish I had a cook. It would be so nice to not have to worry about feeding my children sometimes.

Besides the eating thing, he is truly such a joy. He is finally sleeping well. He sleeps like a champ, actually. It was such a struggle to get to this point that I don't feel bad at all for bragging about it. He is sweet, curious, happy, goofy and cuddly. He is also very quiet. He does babble a bit, but he keeps it to himself mostly, which is quite a change from Gunner. I sure do love him, and I can't quite believe it has already been a year since he joined our family. My, how time flies.

FM in the AM

Do you ever drive around in the morning with the radio on in your car, wishing there was more music, less talk, while you listen to the DJs and their silly commentary? Ever wonder who would care what the morning DJs have to say and who would laugh at their jokes?

I have. And now I know.

Gunner, that's who.

He has really started listening to things lately. In sacrament meeting, he'll perk up during a talk and say, "He said Jesus loves us." When we're listening to music, he'll say, "He said Love in a hopeless place." When we're at the store, he'll hear the guy in front of us at the check stand and tell me, "He said How's your day."

We were listening in the car this morning, and the DJs were doing a prolonged joke. I missed the story behind it, but it was a whole bunch of ending to "The Last Time." The last time you walked your dog. The last time you fished for a boot. The last time you got smacked in the head by a shoe, etc. He was laughing so hard I thought he might cry. He requested "the joking one" on our drive home in the afternoon.

I guess the intended audience to morning talk on the radio is a three-year-old boy.

While We're Talking About Church Music...

This post exposes my music snobbery. Please look away if you're going to judge me, or if you're a lover of "LDS music" as a genre. I don't want to offend anyone. But...

I have been asked to play a piano solo in Sacrament Meeting next week. The lady asked me a couple weeks ago, so I have had a while to think about this. I have such a hard time playing piano solos in church because I can never figure out what to play. Every time I am asked to do this, I wonder why I don't have a collection of appropriate music in my personal music library to choose from. As I have thought about it this time, I have come to this sad conclusion: there is none.

I am a Classical pianist, so my library includes Classical piano music. This music is generally secular, even though many of the composers wrote fantastic sacred choral, vocal, or other instrumental pieces. Bach's life was spent as a church composer, but most of his keyboard music (including the Well-Tempered Clavier, the French and English Suites, and the Partitas) is secular. Handle wrote The Messiah for choir and orchestra, but wrote nothing sacred for the keyboard. Beethoven and Mozart were kings of the sonata. Chopin, Schumann, Schubert, Debussy, Poulenc...all wrote fabulous secular piano music, none of which I think are appropriate for sacrament meeting, since it is a sacred meeting of worship, and not a recital.

That leaves my choices for sacrament meeting limited to arrangements of hymns. I think that there are many lovely vocal and instrumental arrangements of hymns, but for some reason, it just doesn't translate well to the piano. The LDS Church Pop Genre has had way too much of an influence on "Mormon Composers", and they end up arranging hymns for piano by arpeggiating the accompaniment and modulating as a form of emotional manipulation. I can't stand it. To me, it screams "Hey, I'm a fraud of a composer, and I'm desperately trying to manipulate you into feeling something!"

I have tried to put my sadly negative feelings on this matter aside and pick something out that will do for this meeting. I even found a decent arrangement of a primary song that I don't hate. In the end, I have decided on one of Mendelssohn's Songs Without Words. It's a bit risky since it's not a hymn, but Spiff assures me that it will invite the spirit. I wonder if anyone will ask me afterwards what hymn I was playing?

If you know of any great piano solos to play in sacrament meeting, please enlighten me. I would love to have a nice library of beautiful, spiritual piano solos in my library. It would sure make this process easier for me the next time around.

Let's Talk About Primary Music

I am the Assistant Primary Chorister in our ward. Yes, I did say "Assistant." This ward we live in is lucky enough to have two primary choristers. It makes sense to me because the primary chorister job is a big one. One where you have to entertain a varying age-group of kids, and one that you're "on" every week of the year. It's also one that you have to basically pull off a primary program by yourself. Well, that's not so fair to say, since the presidency and the teachers do so much work. But really, a whole lot of it is on the shoulders of the chorister. So, it's nice to have a partner so that we don't have to teach singing time every week.

I have had this calling for about four months, teaching about every other week. It's a fairly natural calling for me, since I am a musician and was basically born to be a music teacher. That being said, coming up with interesting lesson plans for the group of kids is difficult. I want to be able to pull something together that is simple and reverent, yet fun and entertaining, in a reasonable (i.e. short) amount of prep time. But finding such an activity that will appeal to both young and older children alike is difficult, and I stress way too much about it every time it is my turn to teach.

For example, today I taught the new 2012 Primary Song, which is printed in the little handout booklet the general presidency gives to every ward. I found an idea on a blog that sounded easy, but found out that prepping it took waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time. Then the more I did of it, the more her idea didn't make sense, and I wanted to do something else but had way too much time invested in it to start over. Super frustrating. I may or may not have stormed around the house at one point bemoaning the fact that none of the flashlights in our house had working batteries. (editor's note: the author did in fact have a snit re: batteries.)

This was my first Sunday teaching the junior and senior primary kids as separate groups (they had previously been combined). The lesson actually worked pretty well with the junior primary, although I found out that I had some pretty gaping holes in my lesson. I filled the holes before teaching the senior kids, got all geared up, and started my lesson. And do you know what? It is HARD to get senior primary kids to sing. The all stared at me with that look in their eyes that said, "You have got to be crazy if you think I'm going to sing this song." I continued with my 20-minute lesson with a huge fake smile on my face like it was the very best lesson anyone has ever done. At one point, one kid actually asked me, "Did you make this song up?" I showed them the printed music. No. I did not make up this song. Now sing! With a smile! And like it, dang it!!!

Now, I have two other problems. First, I don't like this new song. Here is a simplified version of the sheet music. I am not a fan of Janice Kapp Perry's music. This song, like many of her others, is uninteresting, the lyrics don't rhyme (how do you get away with rhyming "choose" and "too"?), and the melody is unmemorable, which will make it difficult for the kids to learn. I wish I liked it. I guess all children's songs are sweet when sung by our sweet little kids. But it's hard to be genuinely enthusiastic about teaching a song that you don't like. The kids sense it, and they call you out on it, and then eat you alive.

My second problem is that Gunner is now in Primary!!! He had his first day as a Sunbeam today. And he did okay. He didn't cry until (I heard later) he got to his classroom with his teachers and wanted his mom. Apparently he knocked over a chair in his anger. Yikes! How in the world do I teach that kid that it's okay to be with other adults than just me? And that it's never okay to just, oh, I don't know...Knock Over Chairs because you're mad!!! I'm a bit mortified about that.

But anyway, he's in Primary with me now. And I'm trying to lead the kids, keep all of their attention, get them all involved somehow, give turns to as many as possible, AND have my three-year-old hanging off of my arm now. During the 20 minutes of junior singing time today, Gunner was out of his chair no less than 20 times. "Mommy, I want to help you stick the paper up!" "Mommy, I want to help you lead!" "Mommy, I want my toys!" (I borrowed some of his toys as props today. I knew it was a bad decision when I did it. Putting the lesson together was a pain in the tookus, you see, so I did it anyway.) I'm surprised that my arm didn't fall off because of the amount of time he spent hanging off of it.

And that was week #1.

I guess I know what I'll be praying for in the weeks to come.

Not Enough

One of the nicest things about this one-year Intern Year is that we live in Utah long enough that I have been able to spend time with my family and some time with some of my oldest and dearest friends. In the last six months, I have:

Reconnected with my family. I have a weekly playdate with my sister and her daughter taking our kids to the zoo. I have had my nieces over for a sleepover. I have spent a couple weeks at my parents' house. I have enjoyed a holiday season filled with the best family traditions.

Seen my oldest friend. We met when we were five years old, and now she has five! children and is an amazing mom and dance teacher.

Had play dates with my favorite college roommate who's two boys are so much like Gunner that it kills me that we don't live next door. They could wrestle and play Lightning McQueen and Angry Birds together every day and be the happiest kids in the world.

Driven to CA to see some our favorite people from our medical school years.

Spent time on a regular basis with my favorite cousin and her awesome kids.

Made a new friend who is awesome enough to run an upcoming marathon with me.

Spent time over the holidays with friends from St. Louis who are visiting family in Utah. Our kids feel like they have gone home with each other. And it makes me miss the community of awesome people we lived with while Spiff was in medical school, who have now mostly scattered themselves around the country.

I feel so blessed to have the time and opportunity to spend some good and honest time with my family and with so many of my closest friends. It is truly wonderful to rekindle these relationships that have been long-distance for so long. (I moved away from this area nine years ago.) But as I think about this blessing, what I realize is that this year is not enough. The few short hours I get to spend with friends who are visiting, or with friends while I'm visiting Idaho, or the days I spend with my family are never going to be enough.

The more time I spend here, the harder it is going to be for me to move away again in six short months. In the back of my mind, I knew it would be this way when we moved here in June. I had been away for so long that I was used to long-distance. And now that I'm settled here and feel slightly at home, it's going to be so hard to turn these relationships back into long-distance ones.

So, I have this idea. It's a pretty good one, too. When I die, I expect that my own person Heaven will be a giant suburb where all of my favorite people, my family and all of my friends who I have known and loved throughout my life on earth, will all live by me and be my next-door neighbors. We will either all have connecting back yard gates, or whoever you need to be next door to you can be at any time. It will work because it's Heaven and because all things are possible in Heaven, right?

I sure do hope it's like that, or something equally awesome. I love my family and friends dearly, and since it's not possible to be with them always on earth, I hope to be able to earn the privilege to be with them always in the eternities.

Simple Sports

I love the simplicity of running. Good running gear is nice, but I love that all you really need to run is a good pair of running shoes. Compared to Spiff's other beloved sports, including biking, rowing and skiing that require a bare minimum of a large investment in order to get started, running seems like the most lovely, simple thing of the athletic world.

These days, however, here's what it takes for me to get out on even the shortest of runs:

My own running gear, including sunglasses, warm winter running pants, jacket, hat and gloves.

My two children, since Spiff is working all hours and they come with me, who both need to be fed and clothed before setting out

Double jogging stroller

Weather shield for the stroller

Coats and gloves for the kids

Blankets

Warmed rice bags for a little extra warmth in the 20 degree weather

Toys and occasionally food for the older one

And my awesome running partner, her little boy (with accompanying equipment mentioned above), and her Magic Garmin Watch to tell us how far and fast we're going.

That's a lot of stuff. It takes me at least 45 minutes to get ready to go for a 30-60 minute run.

Besides that, I have a wish list. I want my own treadmill. I want my own Magic Watch. I want my own Ipod (I know, right?! Who doesn't have an Ipod these days? Spiff has one that he uses at work, but I don't.). I want a new techie running cap and a strap-on-my-hand-while-I-run water bottle. I want new running shoes and socks. I want to register for a whole lot of events.

Some of these things are needs, and some of these will become needs when we move to Minnesota next year. But what this list boils down to is a whole lot of money invested into a sport that is supposed to be as simple and inexpensive as strapping on a pair of running shoes.

Very Christmas

Alright, so the Christmas Season is trucking along. With two weeks to go, I feel like I have made progress, but still have so many little things to finish up that I'm still completely overwhelmed. I've got my Christmas cards, but they need to be sent out. I have presents that need to be wrapped, some packages sent, but some that need to be sent. I have neighbor gifts to make and deliver. I have a few more presents to purchase. I wish that I could be super organized like my neighbor, Kalie, and have everything done already so that I could simply enjoy the activities of the season...stuff like this:

We decorated for Christmas just after Thanksgiving, and Gunner was so sad when I took his Thanksgiving window sticker turkey down. Then some amazing Christmas elves (thank you Mom and Auntie Mhana) sent him new fancy Christmas window stickers! We have the most festive window on the block.

We went to Temple Square last night. It never ceases to amaze me. The lights are overwhelmingly beautiful, and I love it, always. I also can't help but think about the manpower and hours of work that go into putting up and taking down that display every year. Wowzah!

We tried taking the boys to a live nativity the other night, but when we got there, the area was all parked up, and there was a line of people stretching several blocks down the street. We decided not to wait in line, drove around a bit, and ended up at the zoo, where they have an event called Zoo Lights. Most of the actual animals were asleep, but we walked around looking at neon animal displays. And.........Santa's Reindeer! They have real reindeer there! Very cool.

I had a small wrapping party at my house the other night. I got two whole presents wrapped, but a whole lot of talking to friends in.

We attended my sister's ward Christmas party, where Gunner got to sit on Santa's lap. When asked what he would like for Christmas, Gunner replied, "Christmas." Well, who wouldn't?!

Gunner is so excited about Christmas this year. He's enjoying all of our little family traditions. He wakes up every morning asking to open a box from our Playmobil Advent Calender. Then we have to turn on all of the Christmas lights. Then he wants to pull out an ornament on the felt advent calender my mom made for us. Then he has to find the stuffed Tomten, which is a Scandinavian folk character who guards our tree and hides every night. He loves it all so much that I'm sort of dreading the day when Hobbes cares about doing these fun things, too. Who would want to share such fun activities?! But that's a problem for another year.

Also, I finally have a few presents under our tree, and they are killing Gunner. Just killing him! He asks about 15 times a day if he can open them, and he just doesn't get the benefit of waiting and the concept of anticipation. We got a package of presents the other day from our Aunt, and he was so upset by not being able to open them that he stormed off saying, "I Hate presents. I want to throw the presents in the garbage!" So you see, I was incredibly grateful to Spiff's mom when her package arrived, and there was a present labeled, "To Gunner, Open Right Away." Best words ever! It was the Three Playmobil Wisemen and a Camel, an addition to our excellent Nativity Scene. Grammy, you really won Christmas this year!!!

And last for today, Gunner accompanied me to tithing settlement today, while Hobbes and Spiff were home sleeping. As we were leaving, Gunner wished the bishop a "Very Christmas!"

Very Christmas, everyone!

Turkey Trot

I ran my first ever Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. I can't believe I have never done it before! There couldn't be a better way to show my gratitude to Heavenly Father for my healthy body than by running, just before cooking all day and then shoving it with tons of delicious food. Yes, I am grateful for food and health this season.

I'm also grateful for my 5K PR!!!
My time: 25:18 (Sixth in my age group). I think this is a 6-minute PR!
I ran with my sister, who came in at 25:45 (seventh in our age group). Very cool!

I loved it, and I think I'll finally join the masses and make this part of my Thanksgiving traditions.

Sunday Afternoon Agenda

Today was a long Sunday, with Spiff at work all day. The Sundays Spiff is working seem to drag on forever, and I have a hard time figuring out what to do to entertain my kids when going to a park or a store is out of the question. I got lucky today, though. I had a really awesome kid to keep me company. Here's how we spent the afternoon.

• I started to play the piano, and immediately had two boys wanting to play along.
• Then Gunner wanted to dance to the piano music, so he danced. Then he wanted me to dance with him.
• Dancing led to him getting his dancing dress-up on (which is a "pretty dress" that is really just one of my old shirts).
• It also led to me turning on some old clips of Dancing With the Stars dances, me "lifting" him gracefully off the couch (this kid has got some moves, let me tell you!), and him putting on his Robin (Batman's sidekick) suit on, so he could look like Helio Castroneves in a suit.
• Dressing up as Robin led him to dressing up as Batman himself, which led to him driving a Batmobile he created from a diaper box.
• Then he dressed up as a Super Fireman, which is a Fireman who sports a Red cape. He saved Hobbes and me from many a fire.
• But then there was the fire he couldn't save me from, and I got "sick". He made me lie down on the floor so he could nurse me back to health He was the sweetest care-taker. He gave me shots, medicine, and all of his most special toys to help me feel better. He also came to the hospital as a visitor to help me not be lonely.
• Having me sick on the floor led to him getting out all of the pillows in our house so that I would be comfortable. (Hobbes liked that one. He rolled around on the pillows laughing, like he was a millionaire rolling around on a pile of money.)
• When he helped me feel better, he got "sick" himself, and I was instructed to "feel him better." Good thing I had a great care-taker to teach me how to take of a sick person.

And that's how we spent our afternoon. He's a fun little kid to play with. Hobbes spent the day following him around, and there were some times when the two of them were both rolling on the floor laughing together. Goodness, I love seeing his imagination develop, and watching the relationship between these little brothers grow.

This is what I call Joy.

Fix-It Christmas

Okay, so I'm skipping the Thanksgiving post for now, and heading right on to Christmas. If you refuse to acknowledge Christmas until Thanksgiving is over, then I'll see you next week.

I will first admit that I'm not looking forward to buying gifts for my loved ones this year because I (once again) do not have any great ideas for any of them. I feel like this always sneaks up on me, and I always end up procrastinating it until I end up spending too much money on shipping right before Christmas. Either that or getting into a losing battle with a post office worker. Gift buying ends up being a big stressor for me. I don't know how to quickly come up with something great, that doesn't seem chintzy on a small budget. I'd love to get awesome things for the people I love, or do something lovely, heartfelt and homemade. But I don't have the time, money or talent to pull off anything great like that. Sigh. I guess I'll be praying for some inspiration.

Second, Spiff and I have decided not really to buy each other gifts this year. With a move coming up in June, and in an effort to keep the cost down and the level of "stuff" in our house to a minimum, we have come up with what we are calling "The Fix-It Christmas."

Instead of buying new things, we are spending any money we would spend on gifts fixing things that have been on a To-Fix list for months/years. We are upgrading things. And we are replacing things.

It's not elaborate. Little things, like my watch battery that hasn't worked for about a year and half. Spiff's heart-rate monitor battery that needs to be sent out to a special place to be replaced. New running shoes that I need for my upcoming marathon. Parts for the Yakima rack that we'll need for the move. Etc.

It sort of takes the surprise out of the gift-giving and receiving side of things, and it does seem sort of lame to get/give a watch battery for Christmas. But I feel a whole lot of peace with our little plan, knowing what's coming up in our lives, and knowing that we did something to minimize the chaos in our home. Besides that all of it will be done with money that we will need to spend anyway, so we might as well wrap it up and put a bow on it. Don't you think?

My Shadow

I have a permanent shadow these days that follows me around all day, in sunshine and rain. It is about three feet tall, talks constantly, and is named Gunner.

Seriously, I don't know what it is about this phase of his life, but he cannot seem to be more than two feet away from me at all times. If I am sitting on the couch, he is sitting next to me, asking me to read to him. If I am looking at the computer, he is on my lap asking me what I'm looking at. If I am making dinner, he is playing on the kitchen floor. If I am folding laundry, he is sitting on my bed. If I am interacting with Hobbes in any way, he is right there next to me, getting involved. If I am not carrying Hobbes, he wants me to carry him.

The funniest part is when I am doing chores and am moving from room to room. He sits at my feet on the bathroom rug while I do my hair. Then when I go downstairs to do some laundry, I hear, "MOM?! Where are you?!" I call back, "I'm downstairs," and the next thing I know, my shadow has found me and is resuming his game, again at my feet. We repeat this situation in every room all day long.

It is cute, albeit exhausting having him constantly under my feet. He has to win me up the stairs. He has to get to the door and open it before I do. He has climb out my car door and pop the trunk whenever we go anywhere. And did I mention the constant talking? This boy does not know how to be quiet. He has a constant stream of words, dictating the narrative of his life. Even the rare occasion of him "quietly reading a book to himself" is narrated. No wonder sitting quietly in church is such a struggle for him!

I keep wondering when he will get more independent, and if I will miss the days of my little talking shadow. I probably will.

...But not much. :)

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jog

We had a great trip to California. I loved seeing our friends, although seeing them makes me freshly miss them all over again. They are such good friends, and I love seeing our children together. Gunner played guns and wrestled with their 5-year-old the entire time we were there. He loved it. He also hugged their two girls any chance he got. I went running with my old running partner, we made cookies, took the kids trick or treating, carved pumpkins, played games, ate BBQ Ribs, and we even went on a date. Awesome. And totally worth the hours and hours of traveling and whining kids.

We have enjoyed the rest of Spiff's vacation week at home. He has gone mountain biking and skating, like he wanted. We have watched a lot of TV. We have relaxed, and I feel 100% refreshed, but somehow completely NOT ready for him to go back to work.

In other news:

We have experiences three seasons in one week. We have played in the Pacific Ocean and the beach, played in Fall leaves, and played in snow. Gunner has loved it. And so have I.

We came home from our trip to find that The Neighbors have moved. I guess I can check that one off the list of things to worry about.

I signed up for my first full marathon, coming up in May 2012. I'm excited to take my running to the next level, but I am also terrified! I don't know how I'm going to find the time to train, what with taking care of my kids and Spiff's busy schedule. But the good news is that my new running partner neighbor also signed up, so we'll be able to train together and support each other with our kids. So it's on to a Winter of cross-training, leading up to full-marathon training in the Spring! Wowzah!

Hobbes figured out how to sleep through the night, for approximately a week and half. He slept all night long during our entire trip! It was glorious! And now that we're home, we're sort of back to square one. Hopefully he'll remember quickly. He has learned how to pull himself up on things, to cruise around furniture, and he is getting so much more comfortable getting himself up and down and all around. It's super fun to see him be such a busy little guy.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Spiff's vacation starts tonight, promptly at 5:00 pm. The kids and I are picking him up from work and driving to California to visit some medical school friends. I could not be more excited! Not only do I get to see our good friends, I get to spend time with my husband when he's not sleep-deprived and stressed out! Ah, what sweet relief a little R&R will bring!

Wish us luck on the drive, cuz we're out of here and spending Halloween in sunny CA!

To the Doctor!

This post is more for me than anyone else. I took the kids to the doctor last week, Gunner for his 3-year well-child check, and Hobbes for his 9-month baby check. You'll all be relieved to know that my children are growing just fine, and they're both as healthy as can be. Whew. What a relief. I know you were worried.

Stats:

Gunner weighs 33.8 lbs., and he is 39.5 inches tall.

Hobbes weighs 19.2 lbs, and is 29.25 inches long.

He's in the 28th percentile for weight, with a 90th percentile head circumference. Gunner was always in the 70th percentile, so it's sort of strange for me to have a smaller baby.

Both of the boys got shots, Hobbes a flu shot, and Gunner a Hep B booster he should have gotten half a year ago. Gunner hasn't had a shot for a year, so I prepared him by telling him he was going to feel a little poke. I expected a little bit of a tantrum or a fight. Instead, he watched the nurse give him the shot, sort of flinched, and then said, "Hmm, why do I have a bandaid?" No tears or fears of any kind. He's such a champ!

Also, this doesn't have anything to do with the doctor, but just to update you all on the doings and growings of our sweet little baby. He has a tooth and is working on another. I loved his gummy smile, but I sure do love that little tooth. Super cute! And he can pull himself up on things. Now that he can do it, he spends all day long pulling himself up and grinning from ear to ear. He's so proud of himself! He still has a really awkward army crawl where he pushes/pulls himself around. It looks so uncomfortable, but he's just as happy as can be with it. And he's Fast! He can really get around, limping and lurching like a little lizard who has a broken arm and leg. Oh well. Whatever works, right? Other than the fact that he doesn't sleep at night, he is just the most awesome, happy and pleasant little baby in the world. Simply happy to be alive. Love him!

An Hour and Fifteen Minutes

That's how long my baby cries when he wakes up at night. When I hear him wake up at night, I look at the clock and know that we'll have to endure his pitiful cries for no less than an hour and fifteen minutes.

I'm so sad that I know this.

How long have we been sleep training? Three months, if I remember correctly. We have had to endure this for So Long. It's miserable every night, and I feel like the worst momma in the world every. single. time.

And I think the very worst part of it is the regret. We went through this with Gunner as a baby. We rocked him to sleep as a tiny baby, and I loved it. Only when it stopped working (around six months) did we painfully decide, as first-time parents, that we needed to let him cry-it-out. Spiff and I both decided that crying-it-out was so miserable that we would never let another baby of ours become dependent on us to go to sleep. We convinced ourselves that it was our fault that he didn't have any self-soothing skills, and that we caused that situation.

So when Hobbsie came around, we both refused to rock him to sleep. From the very beginning, we put him down in his bed to fall asleep on his own. With the help of a swaddle and a binkie, "we taught him self-soothing skills," and he was awesome at falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night. Up until six months old, when just like Gunner, it stopped working.

And now I feel like I missed out on one of the most precious and wonderful experiences I can have with my sweet little child...rocking and holding him as a tiny baby. And it was all for nothing. And I will never get that time back.

I also have plenty of time to think about this awful regret...every night...as he cries-it-out for an hour and fifteen minutes.

The Neighbors

This is a picture of someone getting arrested right in front of our house. Sorry the picture is so crappy. I was taking it from inside my house (so as not to be such an obvious creeper), and the reflections from my window are terrible. But you get the gist, right?

Notice the guy on the right who has rubber "drug-finding" gloves on? And the black unmarked police vehicles? There were at least seven of them on the street. There were police milling around the house all afternoon, and even a Drug Dog that got in that white car and sniffed all around. Interesting to watch. Exciting drama at our place today!

I have actually been thinking about posting something about our neighbors for a while. But Spiff informed me that the home teachers said that they would be moving soon, so I held my tongue. Until the drug bust today.

Gunner has made friends with the neighbor kids. One of the kids is an 8-year-old boy who is very nice and well-mannered. He comes over and brings his cool "big kid toys" that Gunner loves to play with. I don't actually mind when the big kid comes over because it keeps Gunner completely occupied for a couple hours.

I do mind it when his little sister (who is seven, I think) comes over, too. She knocked on the door the other day. I opened it. She said, "Um, is my brother here?" I said, "Yes, he is." She stared at me. Then she said, "Well, can I come in?" I let her in.

She's a decent kid, too, except that she's a big more negative than her brother. She says sort of mean things. And when she comes, her brother plays with her and not with Gunner. Then the two of them are playing with each other, at my house, with Gunner's toys, ignoring Gunner.

It's weird.

I have all these concerns, but they have mostly stemmed from the fact that I don't know the family. I worry that they'll teach Gunner behaviors that aren't appropriate for a 3-year-old because they don't seem to understand that he is a lot younger than them. I worry that he feels bad when the sister is around and he is being ignored. But mostly I worry that they will take him out of my house and across the street to their house without me knowing.

The other day, the kids were here, and I told them that Gunner, the baby, and I had to go run an errand. The boy said, "Well, can Gunner come to our house?" I said, "No." Him: "But I could ask my mom to watch him." Me: "Um, no thanks." Him: "But it's not a big deal at all. He could just come over." Me: (Letting out a little scream in my head) "No! I'm just going to take him with me!"

And then today. The drug bust. Gunner asked me, "Can I play with my friend?" I said, "Well, honey, he's probably going to be busy today." Gunner: "Why?"

Oh boy. How do I explain that one to a 3-year-old?

The kids are nice. I'm just uncomfortable with the whole situation. And I feel bad for hoping that they really do move soon.

Conference Weekend

One of the things I have realized about living in the Salt Lake valley is that it's sort of tricky to make friend here because almost everyone who lives here lives close to home. That means that they already have family and old friends around, and they don't have tons of room for new people, especially new people who are here temporarily. I'm lucky that I also have a small circle of family and old friends here (and even a new one), but they had plans with other family, and I found myself a little on the lonely side this Conference Weekend as I remembered several years of watching Conference, eating yummy food, and spending time with good friends on this weekend. (I will mention that some of my family members were nice and invited me their family functions, but I didn't want to intrude.)

That's why I was so grateful to be invited to a breakfast this morning with some of our close friends from Spiff's medical school who are doing their residencies in Utah. Our four families, minus Spiff and another of the husbands, ate a delicious breakfast together, and then let the kids play in the backyard while Conference blared on the radio. It was glorious! Perfect October weather plus happy and occupied kids means that I actually got to listen to a snippet of some of the talks. Thank you, Lindsey, for putting it together! I felt like I had a little taste of "home" today.

On a slightly related topic, I have recently given Gunner a job. I got tired of him getting upset with me when I forgot his cup of water (known as "Truck Water" because of the pictures of trucks on the cup) on an outing. So, I decided to let it be his responsibility. I tell him, "If you want your Truck Water, then you have to bring it with you." I remind him to grab it, but when he asks for it, I have loved being able to say, "Nope, I don't have it. Did you bring it?" And he loves feeling like a big kid with a responsibility.

In the few minutes of Conference I was able to catch on Saturday afternoon, Gunner sat on my lap and listened for about 30 seconds. The speaker talked about church callings and responsibilities. Gunner perked up at a word he recognized.

Today, Spiff asked Gunner if he listened to the prophet speak.

Gunner said, "Um, yeah."

Spiff asked, "What did he tell you?"

Gunner replied, "He told me that it is my sponsibility to bring my truck water."

Spiritual lesson...Check.

My New Obsession

Asian Cooking.

Since our move in June, my taste buds have decided that the most delicious food on the planet is Asian food. Curry, Rice, Thai food, Noodles bowls...Oh, may the Heavens open up and swallow me whole! I can't get enough. It is all I want to eat these days. And I have entered on a new quest to figure out how to make them.

I have gone to a local Asian Market and invested in new ingredients to me, including fish sauce, oyster sauce, rice vinegar, fried shallots, chile paste, Srirache sauce (my favorite!), sesame oil. I have a pile of recipes to try. I have had some successes, some failures. I have tons to learn. And I'm totally intimidated by what may be the most simple thing in the world, but seems to be an incomprehensible mystery: Asian Noodles.

If you've shopped at an Asian market before, you have seen the vast quantities and varieties of noodles they sell. It is truly impressive! Package after package of noodles that are slightly different from each other, but since I don't read their languages, I can't figure out what makes them different, or how exactly to find the one kind of noodle that is specified in a recipe. I definitely don't know enough about them to know how they will behave in a recipe, so I certainly can't blindly choose something out of the masses.

I asked for help, and the kind owner of the shop led me to all the different kinds of noodles I needed. I purchased some dried Chinese egg noodles. I have never cooked them before, and so when I got home and started making dinner, I read these Engrish instructions (click on the picture to make it big enough to read):

It made me laugh. I clearly have a lot to learn about this.

***And while we're on the topic, if you have a favorite Asian recipe that makes your mouth sing, please share it with me! I'd love to add it to my repertoire.

Unreasonable Expectations

Spiff went off to work in the ICU this Saturday morning, leaving the house at 6:30 to ride his bike to work. He will probably return home tonight after 8:00 pm. He is working 13/14-hour shifts both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. This is after a week of 7pm-9am night shifts.

I mention this because, after he left this morning, I got up and read this status on a friend's facebook status:

"if grocery stores, restaurants, movie theaters, sporting events, and gas stations can serve the public on the weekends with out raising their rates, why can't doctors' offices? Seriously, they should staff-up 7 days a week, and evenings too. Because we all know that's when kids like to get sick."

I had to fight really hard to keep myself from posting a snippy, irritated comment in response. And in the end, I couldn't help myself from defending the doctors. I mentioned that doctors do work on the weekends, and they are do work around the clock in hospitals. I also mentioned that they are available at urgent-care and ER facilities. Her response was that doctor's weekend options are too expensive, so they should open their clinics on weekends and evenings at a normal rate.

In my opinion, expecting doctors to be available in their clinics at all times at normal rates is unreasonable. Should we expect plumbers, electricians, computer technicians, and all other professions to work around the clock, without overtime pay, just in case we need them? I don't think so.

Besides the fact that there are often weekend option available, I think it is important to think about the lifestyles of those providing services before demanding that they are available for our every whim.

What do you think?

Yumm!

I lived in Eugene, OR for five years. I fell in love with it for many reasons, a few of which are these:

• Our great family and friends.
• The coast, just a 45-minute beautiful drive away.
• Blackberries growing wild on every road side.
• Green, Green Everything
• Bike and running paths to take you anywhere you want to go.
• Ducks Football
• And last, but not least, Café Yumm!

Sweet Mhana just brought me this extra large bottle of Yumm! sauce:

I made bi-monthly trips to this eatery while I lived there, and I deeply miss it. This sauce is amazing, and unfortunately for me, perishable. I can order it online, but it has to be constantly refrigerated, making it way out of my shipping price range. I even tried to make it last year by replicating the secret recipe from knock-off recipes online. The result looked good but tasted far from accurate, and far from satisfying. Now, I almost feel like I have a bottle of pure, edible gold sitting in my fridge.

I can't wait to dig into my homemade version of this deliciousness!

Café Yumm! is a small chain with locations in Portland, Bend, Corvallis and Eugene, OR. Check it out if you're ever in the area. It is so very very delicious!

Vacation Crazies

The boys and I visited my parents last week. It was a glorious vacation. We didn't do much but sit around my mom's house and play with her toys. It was so nice for me because I didn't have my own chores to do, no mountains of laundry, not my own kitchen to clean, not my bills to pay or errands to run. I was free to simply play with my kids. And my mom fed my baby during dinner every day. I even got a couple naps while I was there. It was a real vacation for me, although we did miss Spiff, who was working like a dog at the horse-pistol.

We returned late in the evening a couple days ago and dumped our vacation on the floor before falling into bed. We woke up in the morning to company (so fun to have Spiff's mom and sister in town!) and a day off for Spiff, which made for a fun-filled day and weekend.

Then today, I attempted to clean up the vacation that was still on the floor from two days ago. So much cleaning to do! Bills, errands, etc. Not to mention the fact that I have yet to make it to the grocery store since before I left on my trip a week and half ago. Seriously, how do people recover from vacations?

And then there are the children. Good heavens, the children! Both of them have spent the past 36 hours crying, whining, or complaining constantly. The baby refuses to sleep at night these days. I need someone to please remind him that he is not, in fact, a newborn, and does not need to eat three times a night! I'm sleep-training now (for real this time), and it's so miserable. He cries and is awake all night, so he's tired and cranky all day. This night-waking thing is baffling us. It could be just a phase, could be separation anxiety. A lack of self-soothing skills. Teething. Tummy problems. Who knows. But it's exhausting me.

And Gunner, since we got home, refuses to believe that he can entertain himself. He seriously has seemed to lose all ability to do anything on his own. I guess all that extra love and attention he got from me and his grandparents was the absolute wrong thing to do on vacation. Next time we should all completely ignore him.

Plus, he has developed this attitude. I have heard that it's common for three-year-olds to become bossy. Boy, is he bossy. And rude. He told me today, while I was snuggling him and reading him a book, that he wanted me to "shut my mouth."

That's when I put all of his favorite toys on an indefinite time out. He has to earn them back by being nice to me and by doing nice things.

That'll teach him to be rude to his momma!

Oh, boy.

It's just vacation detox, right? Right?! A few days of regular schedule, food and sleep patterns will calm them both down. Right? Please tell me we'll all start getting along again. Please tell me that the vacation crazies will go away. Soon.

I may never go on vacation again.

Nothing to Report

I have posted in a few weeks because I haven't come across anything I felt blog-worthy in a while. We have had a month of nothing to report, other than this stuff:

I am still struggling with that darn oven! Since the banana bread, it ruined yet another loaf of pear bread (I decided to give up on that one), and it burned a blueberry pie. An oven thermometer has just moved up to the top of my shopping list. I don't think I can emotionally continue to try to bake and fail.

I ran a half marathon on Saturday with all my siblings and two of my siblings-in-law. This has been a tough training program for me this time around because Spiff has been so busy, and I haven't been able to rely on him to watch the kids. I also haven't been well rested because of my young baby who has decided not to sleep much these days. Because of this, my goal going into the Half was just to finish.

Then two days before the event, I decided that I felt really good after all, and I was going to try to PR. Race day was beautiful, the course was great, and I did, in fact, set a new personal record of 1:58:45, beating my time from 2 1/2 years ago by a whopping 10 seconds. I find myself actually being disappointed for not being even faster, but I have to remind myself that I didn't train for a PR, and I should be happy with my effort. I am grateful for my new running partner, Kalie, who has been there with me stride for stride with jogging stroller in tow, as we pounded the pavement over the past couple months. I am grateful for the friends and family who watched my children so that I could run. And I'm grateful to have had the experience of participating in a distance running event with my family, team SRT. When I started running 13 years ago, I never thought I would see the day when all of my siblings would run with me. I love it!

And also, Spiff and the boys and I have enjoyed some small hikes on Spiff's off days this past month. It has been a nice way to enjoy some family together time. It's free, it's out of the house, and it wears Gunner out completely. We did a 2-mile hike last week where Gunner actually walked 9/10s of the way all by himself! At a steep point in the hike, we told him that we were mountain goats, like the Billy Goats Gruff, and we were going to climb a mountain. It is the first walk we have taken with him in a long time that he didn't complain about being tired.

This is a pretty lengthy, wordy post for having absolutely nothing to say. Thanks for listening to my rambling.
Until next time!

When Your Ego Takes a Hit

I love good food, and I think I'm a decent cook. (Is that a vain thing to say?) In fact, I have been told that food is my love language. Having a baby? Have a family illness? Anyone in your family having surgery? No problem. I'll provide dinner! I'm not great at providing other services for the people I love, but I can usually give food.

I enjoy cooking, and I love baking, especially in the Fall when the weather chills up a bit, and warming up my kitchen with yummy smelling baked goods is just the right thing to take the bite out of the air.

Now, here's the problem. My little house has a lovely, brand spanking new kitchen. The landlords fixed it all up, with new tile floors and new cabinets. It's beautiful! They even installed granite countertops. Problem, you say? It sounds glorious!

The problem is the oven. Right now, I'm wishing they had saved their money on the countertop and bought a new oven. The one in the kitchen is old and unpredictable. I have discovered that I have to set the temperature at least 25 degrees cooler than specified in any recipe. AND I have to bake things for much less time than recommended (think 7 minutes for 11 minute cookies).

Even then, I'm always guessing. I have ended up with crispy cookies (I like 'em soft), dry pear bread (it is HARD to turn pear bread dry), and my latest "creation", this lovely banana bread:

Ouch!

This has a big possibility of having a seriously negative effect on my reputation. I promise that it's the oven's fault. Please don't judge me.

Event Confusion

I think Gunner is a little confused by time and spacial relationships. Today he said the following:

Mommy, will you get my birthday out?

I want to go to Halloween.

My birthday starts on Wednesday.

On an unrelated note, and in honor of Liz Lemon (although he has never seen an episode of 30 Rock), he has said, entirely unprompted, and on many occasions, "I want to go to there."

Me too, Gunner. Me too.

Wild Goose Chase

Hobbes is a puker. Anyone who has been around him has either been repelled by his constant state of wetness, or baptized by a large volume of baby vomit. All babies spit up, but his puking seems excessive, although it doesn't seem to bother him. It bothers me with the extra laundry I have to do, and the fact that he has ruined my carpet! I brought it up with his doctor at his 6-month check-up, and he prescribed a reflux medication, Prevacid (Lansoprazole), in pill form. We were to administer it by crushing it up and mixing it with some baby food.

Keep in mind that Hobbes is only 7 months old, and at the time we got the prescription, he had been eating solid foods for exactly one day. Getting him to swallow enough of it to be effective has been challenging, if not absolutely futile.

It hasn't been working, or doing anything at all, from our perspective. My carpet is still consistently being doused by little wet orange blobs of vomit.

Spiff mentioned that the medication could be formulated into a liquid format for easier administration, so I called the doctor's office to see if we could get that done. Piece of cake, said the nurse. She'd call it in to the pharmacy of my choice.

I chose the Costco pharmacy close to my house, and because a series of unfortunate events, I was unable to go pick it up for about 6 days. At the end of my shopping trip, I checked at the pharmacy. They said they hadn't filled it because they didn't have Hobbes's name/info in the system. I gave it to them and left, to pick it up another day, feeling guilty that Hobbes still didn't have his medicine.

The Costco pharmacy called me back later that day to say that they couldn't fill the prescription because it had to be "compounded" and needed to go to a compound pharmacy that could do it.

Slightly frustrated and quite confused as to what that means (although Spiff said, "Yeah, I thought that might be a problem.), I called the recommended pharmacy. They were super helpful, and all they needed was the number of the Costco pharmacy so they could get the script transfered.

New Compounding Pharmacy called back a few minutes later to tell me that Costco didn't have the script. I was confused because I had talked to them two days earlier, and they said they had it, but hadn't filled it yet. New Compounding Pharmacy then called the doctor's office to get a new script.

The Doctor's Office called a few minutes later to say that they needed to call New Compounding Pharmacy, but they didn't have the correct phone number.

New Compounding Pharmacy called several hours later to say that the new prescription was ready. The pharmacist said that Costco had lost the script, and she was confused as to why Costco couldn't fill it because it wasn't something that needed to be compounded.

It was, in fact, a pill.

Seriously?!

I wonder how or if this pill is any different than the one we already have. I also wonder where the confusion was in the first place. Yikes!

She said that it was something I can dissolve in a liquid and give to him in some water (which he doesn't drink) or his bottle (which he doesn't use because he is breastfed). Eventually, she understood that I would need a container and a syringe in order to dissolve the pill in a small amount of water and give it to him via syringe.

This sure is a lot of work for some reflux that doesn't seem to bother him. I'll pick up the prescription tomorrow, and then we'll finally be able to give this new medicine a try. I also sure do hope that it's the end of the story.

Small Things

Just a few things Gunner did today that made me laugh. I had to share:

#1:

Gunner: Can I have one of your cupcakes?

Me: Yes, as long as you give me a big hug and tell me that you love me and that I'm your favorite momma in the whole big world.

Gunner: I love zjew. I'm your big momma in the world favorite whole now.

#2: (while Spiff was attending the Tour of Utah with a buddy who picked him up from our house)

Gunner: Did Daddy go to a bike race? Who's his friend?

Me: That was Daddy's friend Sean.

Gunner: Sean the Baptist?

And #3: Here's what has been keeping Gunner entertained the past couple days. These are motorcycles made out of playdough (my handiwork. Aren't I artistic?). His hands are the riders, and they had to have helmets. I wish you could hear the dialogue that goes with it. I think I'm almost as entertained by it as he is.

Did he make you smile?

As Requested

I have had a couple requests to explain the "Magic Pooping Toy." So here's an explanation, and then I promise to stop talking about poop.

My dear friend, Pulcheria, gave this advice as a comment to a previous post. (Pulcheria, I hope it's okay with you that I'm reposting it here.)

"The pooping was my biggest stress too! And Beemer had issues. She would hold it until we put a diaper on her at night for a long time. Or have accidents like you are dealing with. AT finally made her a poopoo necklace that she could wear on the potty. It was a magic necklace that would help her poop when she needed too (it was really just a button on a string) and it worked! So our suggestion is a new car that he can hold or some article of clothing he can wear only on the potty that is magic. Oh, and a diet coke for you!"

Like I said, she and her husband are brilliant. I think this type of insight is a rare and beautiful thing.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Yessir, things are changing around our little household. Here's what's happening:

First of all, Spiff started his intern year doing outpatient internal medicine. It's definitely not his favorite thing to do, but the schedule was glorious. Mon-Fri, 8-5:00, with weekends and holidays off. I knew it wouldn't last, and I told myself I knew what was coming, but I don't think I was emotionally prepared for how difficult his new inpatient medicine schedule would be. He leaves the house at 5:30 in the morning and doesn't get back until 9:00 on most nights. We knew going into this internship that it would be hard. We knew that the interns at his hospital work hard, and I told myself I was prepared for all the single-mothering I would be doing. I think I told myself a big fat lie, and that nothing really could prepare me for having him gone through the boys' breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime almost every day of the week. We miss him.

Second, we got our huge Double Bob jogging stroller (thank you for the delivery, Spiff's Mom!), and because of Spiff's awesome schedule, I have been taking my kids running with me. The stroller is great and handles like a dream, but it's still so so so hard pushing an extra 70 pounds of stroller and children while I run. It's a totally different kind of workout, physically and emotionally, but I'm grateful to have the option.

Also, I started running with my neighbor. For two days now, we have packed up our kids and taken them with us. It's nice to have the company, and I'm glad to have a new friend and a great way to get to know her better.

Third, I decided that it's time to start sleep training Hobbes. He's 6 1/2 months old, and up until this point, he slept like a dream. I could just swaddle him up, give him a binkie, put him down, and he'd be out like a light. He still sleeps well at night, but this week, he has been refusing his naps. I remember this point when Gunner was a baby when we realized that what had been working for us (which was rocking him to sleep) wasn't working anymore. It was time to sleep train.

Like most mothers, I have such a hard time sleep training my babies because it's so very difficult to hear them cry. I second guess myself all the time, wondering if he's hungry, cold, wet, poopy, or if there's something else I should have done to prepare him for sleep. This morning, he cried for 40 minutes, and the whole time I said my mantra to myself, "He will eventually go to sleep. He will eventually go to sleep." And I have to remind myself that it's the best thing for him to learn how to comfort himself and go to sleep. It's a valuable skill, and he needs to learn it, even though hearing my sweet, easy-going little baby cry makes me want to scratch holes in my window with my fingernails.

And last, but not least, I'll update you all on Gunner and the pooping. We have both been really frustrated. We stayed home from Sacrament Meeting on Sunday so that he could poop. It took the whole hour for success. He has been asking for diapers and telling me that it's too hard. Thank you for your advice and suggestions. Pulcheria, I have a "magic pooping toy" on my shopping list for the day. I think you're brilliant.

And now I have a triumphant story to tell. Brace yourselves, folks because this is amazing! This morning while I was stuck on the couch nursing Hobbes, I asked Gunner to go to the bathroom to wash his hands. I heard the water go on and off, but Gunner didn't come out of the bathroom. I didn't know what he was up to, and I nervously waited until he finally called out to me, "Mommy, I made some logs! Come here and see!"

Yep, my little boy went poop in the potty All. By. Himself. He decided he had to go, pulled down his pants, positioned his step stool and the toilet seat, and pooped without any assistance at all! I almost cried out of joy and pride. I really hope that this good experience is the turning point for him, and that he'll finally have the confidence to conquer this hurdle for good. Go Gunner Go!!!

Practice Makes Perfect

Right?

I'm sure you're all tired of me posting about potty stuff, but it's on my mind, so this is what you get. If you don't want poop stories, feel free to skip this one.

Gunner really is doing well with the peeing. He's not 100% dry overnight, but he does okay. He hasn't really had any accidents during the daytime at all, since the first two days. I'm super proud of him for that.

And you all warned me about this next part.

The pooping!

It's horrible! He is about 50/50 on the pooping. Today he pooped his pants. We have had a few poop accidents. Boy, I really do hate cleaning that up. The pooping is the one reason that I waited as long as I did to potty train. I'd much rather change a poopy diaper than poopy pants. Blech.

I'm having a hard time knowing how to react to him about it. Today we worked for over an hour with him because he had to poop. He told us, so we rushed him to the potty, and then he immediately hopped off saying, "I can't. I can't." It was on and off the potty, coaching the pushing, reading books, pleading, bribing, etc. For over an hour! And we got a teeny tiny little poop out of it. I knew he had more, but he just couldn't do it then.

So he pooped his pants later.

I find myself getting mad at him, and later wonder why I can't show him more empathy. I think the reason is that I don't want him to ever think it's okay, so I scold, I take toys away, I don't offer treats, I make him clean up, and I tell him how disappointed I am. Negative consequences to hopefully entice him to use the potty next time.

It's just so frustrating because I know he is more than capable of figuring this out. He has done it before, and now he's acting all afraid of it. I do realize that there's a learning curve to figuring out those bodily urges. I guess I just have to remember that he's still new at it. The first day of potty training, he peed 20 times. If he could poop 20 times in one day, he'd be a seasoned pro at that, too.

Any advice out there for how to handle the poop training?

Potty Star

That's my kid! He is a potty champ! Who knew?! He was 100% ready and has exceeded my highest expectations. I am seriously so proud of my little boy.

I would recommend the Potty Boot Camp, based on my one experience using it, even though I didn't stick completely to it. I used it as a guideline, and I think it was really helpful for Gunner. The book recommends feeding the kid lots of salty snacks and fluids throughout the day, and then taking them to the potty every 20 minutes. I did that, and he peed 20 times that day. 20 times! That's a lot of practice using the potty. He was a seasoned pro at it by the end of the day. He was also very very tired of using the potty by the end of the day, and if there's one negative about the program, it is that it can burn a kid out on peeing. Every time the potty timer went off in the evening, I'd say, "It's time to go potty!" And he would say, "No! I'm done peeing!"

The book then recommends continuing potty intervals over the next several days, starting at 30 minutes and working your way up to and hour or so. I could tell that Gunner couldn't have handled another intense day of timed peeing, so I decided to back off of him, and just take him every hour or so. He only had one big accident. And he successfully went #2 on the potty twice the second day! I think that's a huge success!

Also, the nighttime thing was sort of solved for us. We decided to put a diaper on him for overnights, and when we went to get him ready for bed, he said, "No. I wear underpants now." So we shrugged our shoulders, and nervously put him to bed in his underpants. He got up a couple times to pee in the middle of the night, and woke up (almost) dry. Last night, he went the whole night dry! I couldn't have been more proud of him this morning!

We ventured out to our first public place yesterday. I took him to the library for about a half hour. I took him to the bathroom before we left the house, and then I told him that the library also has a potty. We went in, picked out our books, checked them out, and then he ran down the hall shouting, "I have to use this potty!" So we did. I was so proud of him for self-initiating that one, and especially for telling me about it and having a public potty success.

So, he's doing great. And besides one small incident this morning in which he hid in his bedroom closet so that he could poop his pants (thankfully I caught him in time to get him to the bathroom with a stern reminder that "poop goes in the potty!!!!!"), I'd say that he's almost there.

I am under no delusion that our work is done. I'm sure that it has just started. But at least it has been a good start. I also think that it has been a good bonding experience for the two of us. I spent a lot of time just playing with him this week, besides working with him and praising him for all of his successes. I think it has been good for his confidence, and it has been good for me to put some trust in him, give him some responsibility, and see him accomplish some really big goals.

Lord, Give Me Strength

I'm going to start potty training Gunner tomorrow. It's time. He's ready.

I'm not.

I'm pretty stinkin' terrified of this milestone. I'm scared of the messes, the constant checking, the accidents, going out in public afterwards. I don't know what to do about overnights. But I'm mostly scared of the fights.

Spiff reminds me not to let it become a fight. But I know my son. He's stubborn, and he's a fighter. And we haven't been getting along very well lately, and my patience is already worn thin. I'm praying that I will be upbeat, positive, and always patient with him as he learns this new trick.

I decided to go with the Potty Boot Camp Method. It's supposed to teach the kids how to use the potty in just a day or two, with lots and lots of follow-up maintenance, of course. I like the idea of a quick and dirty get-it-done method. I have heard a lot of success stories using this method. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm sure you're dying to know.

On the plus side, Gunner is super excited about his Cars, Incredibles and Thomas the Train underpants. I think they will be a great motivator. I'm also looking forward to all the new toys. It's like potty training and Christmas all wrapped up in one stressful, messy little package.

Now I'm off to prepare. I'm making a sticker chart, wrapping little presents, and getting lots of bribes easily accessible. Wish me luck.

***And for My information, what did you do with your kids over night? Diapers? Pull-ups? Cold turkey underpants?

Reverse Sunset

This is our view from our front porch tonight. Not bad, huh?

All The Water

We arrived at the beginning of June and were surprised to find the mountains still covered in snow. We had been told that it was a super snowy winter, but it was pretty amazing to see it for ourselves. Before Spiff started working, we drove up one of the canyons to do a hike with our kids which had been advertised online as "the most child-friendly hike in the area," around a little lake complete with boardwalk. When we got there, we found the trail completely covered in three feet of snow. Crazy!

I thought the trip up the canyon was still worthwhile, though, because of all the water. The creek that runs down the canyon is an all-out river. Check out these rapids!

Impressive, no? You wouldn't want to go swimming in that. I wish we had gotten a picture of some of the random waterfalls caused by the run-off. So beautiful!

Also, the boys and I also just returned from a camping trip new Yellowstone Park. I have never seen the area so green and so much water in the reservoirs and so many wildflowers. It looked like a different area of the country than the drought-condition campsites I grew up with. Truly so very very beautiful!